The tiger that came to tea

[Mango1982]

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9920825/Tiger-Came-Tea-lead-rape-harassment-campaigner-claims.html

This kind of nonsense is why I am not a feminist and it really hurts your cause it’s exactly in the same vain as company’s saying pregnant people

It’s bat shit

Some feminists were saying it promotes sexist stereotypes

Iam a stay at home mother their is nothing wrong with that and I do get the feeling that feminists hate the traditional family set up and I don’t understand why
I am not being made to stay at home if anything I felt pressure to work in the past witch ended up being harmful to my mental health and my family

Why shouldn’t girls be able to feel ok with wanting to be a stay at home and raise their children if that’s something they think they would like to do

I thought the idea was that if this book is read then the gender stereotypes should be discussed. Like is this how it happens in your house? Who makes dinner in your house? Does mummy work? Etc? So just discuss it. Not just ban it. I don't think there really needs to be this much outrage about the comments. It's just to make people aware gender equality can start young.

Misogynistic newspapers taking one extreme example of one woman's nonsense views (which practically nobody on earth with agrees with; certainly not any feminist I know) and describing it as a feminist view thus ensuring more people think feminism is about fannying on whinging about classic stories or other such nonsense as opposed to challenging unfair structures in society is exactly why you wouldn't describe yourself as a feminist. We fucking know - it's a typical divide and rule strategy and it's been going on for years. I'm a feminist and I'm pleased you've had the opportunity to choose to be a sahm raising children is a hugely undervalued but very important thing to undertake and I'm happy you were able to find a balance that suited you and your family.

For the record I and other real life feminists I know are very concerned at the moment with:

• how the pandemic has disproportionately affected women all over the world.
• women and girls in Afghanistan currently
• fgm
• wishing that maternity and paternity leave were more equal
• my US friends are very concerned about the absolutely shit maternity leave entitlement you get over there with almost all of them knowing someone who had to return to work while still recovering from birth injuries
• rape as a weapon in war
• lack of access to education for some girls - linked to when they're on their period
• child brides
• sex trafficking
• unequal pay and especially how this affects (effects? I'm a shit speller sorry) women of colour.
• the treatment of black women in particular including putting right the way black women's needs have been sacrificed in the past for the 'greater good'
• low rape conviction rates
• domestic violence
• women feeling unsafe to walk the streets at night

Once all of that is solved maybe some people might turn their attention to kids' stories. I love Judith Kerr though so I'll probably sit that one out.

My kid loves this book and I'm not a stay at mom, the relationship is old fashioned - its not a critique of stay-at-home mothers to point that out.

This. My DS loved this book but it is old fashioned and it's not wrong to point that out.

The issue with the book is the feeble 'what are we going to do' at the end being solved by Dad arriving home not it being mum who's at home.
I was a librarian doing inset days to primary school teachers on books and organizing their libraries in the 7Os. I pointed out the subtle message in this book back then. Didn't say it should be banned have bought probably 1000s of copies and read at numerous storytimes, it's a great story.

Why it was raised is that many school libraries consisted entirely of books giving this message, many much older than Tiger and nowhere near as good. I was drawing their attention to the range of books available showing positive images of women such as 'Alex's New Bed' and 'Princess Smartypants' which they didn't have, it was the same with multicultural books and books showing working class lives.

I do wish feminists would be more conscious of what they say and how the media will use ( twist ) it.

@TheMarzipanDildo

OP, I’m not going to stop liking the Tiger that Came to Tea because someone has thought about the family dynamic, and you don’t have to either. It’s not the law. HTH.

This.

And there is nothing wrong in staying home to raise a family. My eldest DD (26) who currently lives in the Middle East is moving back to the UK after Christmas so her and her BF can start looking at buying a house and settling down, getting married and having children, she is able to now move to the UK branch when she is ready. She may take a few years off, work part time ect..she has got options.

What I would have felt really disappointed in is if she suddenly declared at 16 she wanted to be a stay at home mum and that's where her dreams ended. She has literally travelled the world with her job and worked for amazing people who have really enhanced her life and gave her life experiences she wouldn't have had if she had chosen to be a SAHM from the off.

@pleasekeeptotheright

You clicked the bait. Bless.

Could you be any more patronising? The Mail is reporting this nonsense - not writing it.

It was produced by Zero Tolerance Scotland. It's reported in The Times too.

Tiger Who Came to Tea ‘teaches boys violence and sexism for life’ | Scotland | The Times
www.thetimes.co.uk/article/tiger-who-came-to-tea-teaches-boys-violence-and-sexism-for-life-p92bkwl8k?utm_source=spotim&utm_medium=E-mail&utm_content=liked-message&spot_im_redirect_source=email&spot_im_highlight_immediate=true&spot_im_comment_id=sp_nNNHCgsN_6a271296-051e-11ec-89b3-29a9a04e8645_c_1xCE46d3q7aq1k7ZXPj3yVIz9MO&spot_im_content_id=sp_nNNHCgsN_6a271296-051e-11ec-89b3-29a9a04e8645&spot_im_content_type=conversation&utm_spot=sp_nNNHCgsN

Such a bizarre thread, have no idea what OP is arguing for or against.

When asked where they would go for tea if there was no food in the house the best suggestion I got was 'go to your nan's then you won't have to pay

Really? That was the best suggestion? Go to another woman's house and expect her to cook for them?

This was dd's favourite book ever. We read it until we knew it off by heart.

Dd wants to be a model/actress and start having babies from the age of 16. I thought this was because she spends too much time on adopt me and other roblox bollocks, but actually I can now trace it back to the tiger.

Obviously, we all know that mummy had all her mum mates round (how do we know she's a sahm, BTW? Could be half term), ate and drank everything, then blamed a bloody great tiger cos dh doesn't really listen anyway. Spoonies had an offer on, so out they went. Daddy put Sophie to bed, cos mummy felt a bit wobbly after the bramble gins.

I'm a feminist, I would love to be a sahm and not have to work. I think you are missing the point of feminism. To say you are not a feminist and that article is the reason why is both stupid and ignorant.

I am a feminist. I also was a Sahm for years when my kids were tiny. When feminism means that child rearing (whether by parents or paid staff) is treated with the same level of importance, status and economic value as jobs increasing GDP then we will know feminism’s work is done. We are a long way off. Ask any two full time working parents without grandparent care and they will say it’s tough.

Someone has convinced people that being pro family life is being anti women working which is bizarre since a) men can care for children b) most women only have two or three children, even taking a decade out of work would still mean several decades of career opportunity of career gaps weren’t penalised so harshly.

I love this book personally. I also want my boys to know that being a sahp is a good choice for them if it works for their family and that splitting parenting responsibilities is important regardless of work situations. I do that by reading them other books. Having one (lovely) book which features a sahm isn’t a problem, it’s when it’s the only book.

I thought the whole point of The Tiger Who Came To Tea was that a tiger hadn't really come to tea, the mum just couldn't be bothered to cook that day and then they all went to a cafe instead. I read it as the stay at home parent was allowed a day off too.

It's a lovely book, but the dynamic isn't great. None of the SAHMs I know would have been as pathetic as the mum in the story, and certainly didn't need daddy to come home to rescue them. I mean, even the picture of him showing up at the door at the end is painted to make him look like some sort of godlike figure, it's quite funny. The TV adaptation is a bit better, daddy is equally as bumbling as mummy in that version.

I wouldn't be happy if lots of books in my daughters' collections were like this, but the odd one isn't the end of the world.

@KimikosNightmare - its just click bait designed to get people frothing at 'Feminists' - y'know those pesky feminists that threw themselves under horses so you cold vote ect..

Is it an old fashioned book? Yes. Do I think that it will encourage young boys to go out and rape women? No I don't. Do I have to agree with what every 'feminist' says ? No I don't, we do not have hive mentality.

Its click bait.

I tell you which book does piss me off is a fireman sam book I got for DD3. It splits in to two and you have to try and guess which character it is from the bottom part of the page. ALL the female characters have necklaces, lipstick ect.. for clues. Whilst the male characters have beards, hats and medals ect..

That book pisses me off.

What this particular woman has said about this particular book is correct. It does show old fashioned stereotyped relationships and it does show the Dad arriving at the end as the problem solver not the mum. What the DM and others have done is sensationalise what was said and reported "opposing" views that oppose something that wasn't even said by the original commentator (that the book should be banned). All that was said was that it's a good idea to have a conversation with children about the stereotypes in the book, rather than accept them passively.

I've read this book to both my boys when they were small. It's a delightful book. I just made the Tiger female, the delivery boy became a delivery girl, I call the beer Mummy's beer and I talked in an age appropriate way about the roles the mum and the dad have and how it might be different now. That's all. No one is suggesting a book should be banned or that Judith Kerr isn't a great children's author!

The DM and others know exactly what they're doing. They're the ones that are promoting "cancel culture" as they seem unwilling to actually consider what was said and have a reasoned conversation. Much better for popularity to whip up a storm in a teacup.

Its a book. The whole point of stories is discussion. You can agree or disagree with ant part of a book you like.

Oh and If you hate feminism so much I presume you don't work? Don't vote? Don't have a bank account ? Or is reaping those benefits ok?

No more Jane Austen for us, then, just 50 Shades....

The book is from 1968 - of course it's outdated. So are the fashions and the kitchen portrayed. So what? 🤦🏼‍♀️

www.zerotolerance.org.uk/news/news-events/childrens-book-audit-results-2021-/
I can believe it because publishing has gone backwards, school library support from library services has been cut and many childrens librarian axed. This is about a proper selection policy for stock.

I just wish they hadn't headlined Tiger which isn't the problem it's the state of publishing over the last decade and lack of good advice available. Children's publishing has such short print runs and many of the great titles from the recent past are now out of print.

If there was a tiger, I would do whatever to make it stay as long as possible. It can have my food
DH feeds us all in this house.

Not read the book in years though.

Its a book from the 60s which reflects 60s attitudes. But its also a classic childrens story so it is still widy read. No big deal.

OP, you sound like this is an underlying issue with you: angst over your right to stay at home. Im sorry if youve been treated badly in the past to make you feel like this. I dont think there's anything wrong with being a SAHP and I think looking after children is worthwhile and under-rated work. Some peoples jobs make it easier to do part-time/with career break than others and every situation in different so if you are happy with your choices then that's what matters.

As for the woman in the DM article, she is spokesperson for a domestic violence charity in Scotland which believes DV services should be inclusive of transwomen. She does not speak for feminism nor does she have women's interests at heart. I suspect that she will say whatever sounds trendy and woke. It makes perfect sense that the same sorts of people who are clamouring to have statues torn down and street names changed will also complain about a childrens book that is "of its time". Dont give it any more thought.

[quote ohstopityourmakingitup]@KimikosNightmare - its just click bait designed to get people frothing at 'Feminists' - y'know those pesky feminists that threw themselves under horses so you cold vote ect..

Is it an old fashioned book? Yes. Do I think that it will encourage young boys to go out and rape women? No I don't. Do I have to agree with what every 'feminist' says ? No I don't, we do not have hive mentality.

Its click bait.

I tell you which book does piss me off is a fireman sam book I got for DD3. It splits in to two and you have to try and guess which character it is from the bottom part of the page. ALL the female characters have necklaces, lipstick ect.. for clues. Whilst the male characters have beards, hats and medals ect..

That book pisses me off.[/quote]
Oh look a feminist is educating me. I saw The Times article first, not the DM. It was in the Scotland section as another example of the current lunacy going on here.

The report from Zero Scotland is nonsense- why not take it up with the author?

I'm a feminist, most of my friends are feminists, and I couldn't name one person who gives a shit about this. It's hyped up by the Daily Fail to make you hate feminists, and you rose to the bait, well done.

At the most, if someone has an issue with a book, they just swap out words in their own copy of the book. It's really not that deep.

Literally no women are claiming this, let alone "feminists". The DM is actively interested in making certain groups look bad, and if they can take an out-of-context soundbite or quote, or even a story made up from whole cloth including fake names, events and locations, they'll do it.

OP, you're going to get some angry comments from people who have genuinely been hurt by these kind of articles, but please don't feel too silly for being taken in by this. These pieces are expertly designed to provoke people.

It's ok to disagree with one particular feminist and still be a feminist yourself.

I’d like to hear their analysis of The Crocodile Under the Bed then!