My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Feminism: chat

WE are pregnant. Surrogacy is a team effort?

54 replies

FlubberNutter · 21/08/2021 08:13

A very well known baker in Australia who I follow on FB is using a surrogate.

No, It’s not a team effort. Your surrogate is pregnant, not you or your husband. He also wants pregnancy terminology overhauled? Why has this made me so angry?

WE are pregnant. Surrogacy is a team effort?
WE are pregnant. Surrogacy is a team effort?
OP posts:
Report
OhHolyJesus · 21/08/2021 08:25

She is the mother. He wants to erase the word as it suits him.

What are the outdated parenting structures, does he mean reproduction and how you need a man and a woman to make a baby? That's just simple biology.

I would say he was capitalising on the current uptick in misogyny and he is perpetuating that to suit his agenda of buying a baby.

Report
ErrolTheDragon · 21/08/2021 15:35

Quite a lot of people take issue with blokes whose wife or female partner is pregnant claiming ownership of it with the 'we are pregnant' nonsense. Complaining about people picking him up on it when he's using a surrogate is what is 'beyond tbh'. No 'lol'.Hmm

There is of course absolutely no issue whatever with any of these men saying 'we're going to be parents'. What other word does he need?

Report
MrsTerryPratchett · 21/08/2021 17:12

There is of course absolutely no issue whatever with any of these men saying 'we're going to be parents'. What other word does he need?

Or 'we're expecting' or any one of a number of phrases that don't minimise the very real physical process that is pregnancy. A process that still kills many women. And leaves many more with birth injuries. Someone send him the link to the Fistula Foundation so he can donate to other 'pregnant people' left with life-changing disabilities from birth.

Wanker.

Report
MrsTerryPratchett · 21/08/2021 17:15

Or Mila Kunis' take on it.

Report
Soubriquet · 21/08/2021 17:19

Sure…you’re pregnant

Your belly is expanding and you’re putting on weight. The ligaments around your pelvis is loosening to accommodate your expansion and your pelvis is widening. Your breasts are getting bigger and are preparing to fill with milk. Your ankles may be swelling and so are your fingers. Your hormones are up and down and lots of other stuff is happening too.

Oh no…that’s not happening to you? You’re not fucking pregnant that’s why.

Report
cashoncollection · 21/08/2021 17:23

Of course he wants an overhaul of the language around pregnancy, so he has a nice and easy way to normalise talking about buying a baby.

Oh and erase women whose bodies are being bought too!

Report
BraveBananaBadge · 21/08/2021 23:26

Thinks the language and terminology around pregnancy needs an overhaul now it's of some relevance to him. Sure he'd given it loads of thought before.

Enjoyed the Mila Kunis clip Grin

Report
NiceGerbil · 22/08/2021 04:49

Lol

I think he'll find that the idea that a woman who grows and births a baby is doing something different to those who aren't doing that has been around for an awfully long time before and after the 60s Grin

I don't know who this person is but guessing they've never had a baby. To just dismiss the whole effort as just well. It's all the same!

The lefty/ liberal surrogacy view is essentially no different to the pro life/ forced birth one.

Reducing the changes risks etc to a nothing. Not worth even thinking about.

I mean this person has zero chance of life changing injury as a result of this do they

For fucks sake

Women are made for breeding. It's natural. Don't make a fuss. Just pop out the kids. Blah blah.

Report
Naunet · 22/08/2021 10:09

So he wants to minimise the huge process that a woman’s body goes through in creating life, and pretend this applies to him too? Women are not allowed their own words to describe the massive changes they are going through, because the poor menz might feel excluded. 🙄 Just another narcissist.

Report
Whatwouldscullydo · 22/08/2021 10:12

No one who keeps themselves with the option of walking away at any point without a second thought to the woman or the baby, should ever get to say the words " we are pregnant "

Report
TheWeeDonkey · 22/08/2021 10:42

Men like this are like all those people who decided to buy a pedigree puppy to keep them occupied over lockdown.

Its nothing to do with wanting to be a good parent and all about buying a cute new accessory, and now he wants to deny inconvenient and icky biological reality because of course this is all about him.

What a wanker

Report
FlubberNutter · 22/08/2021 12:36

@TheWeeDonkey It’s so funny that you said that! He literally did exactly that 😂

WE are pregnant. Surrogacy is a team effort?
OP posts:
Report
TheWeeDonkey · 22/08/2021 12:47

[quote FlubberNutter]@TheWeeDonkey It’s so funny that you said that! He literally did exactly that 😂[/quote]
OMFG😮😂

Report
ErrolTheDragon · 22/08/2021 23:44

Grin(Looks more like a cockerpoo than a pedigree though.)

Report
Clymene · 22/08/2021 23:51

What an obnoxious misogynist chump. I hope his surrogate tells him to fuck off

Report
EarthSight · 23/08/2021 19:08

@FlubberNutter

A very well known baker in Australia who I follow on FB is using a surrogate.

No, It’s not a team effort. Your surrogate is pregnant, not you or your husband. He also wants pregnancy terminology overhauled? Why has this made me so angry?

'Outdated parenting structures'....LOL.

Yeah...because....like......giving birth and motherhood is like so last season. So outdated!
Report
Delphinium20 · 23/08/2021 21:23

Ahhh....men telling women how to talk about our bodies and what they do...nope. Nothing outdated as that. That's as old as time.

Report
TrainspottingWelsh · 23/08/2021 21:32

Shouldn't it be 'we went shopping' 'we are waiting for our shopping to be delivered'.

I'm waiting for the straw when my neighbour has finished harvesting. We have an agreement it's mine and I will pay them when it's delivered. It doesn't mean I am pregnant with their crop.

Report
Ibizan · 24/08/2021 12:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FlubberNutter · 24/08/2021 23:27

His latest update. Is it wrong that I want to slap him a little bit? I’ve never slapped anyone in my life 😆 What an obnoxious twat.

WE are pregnant. Surrogacy is a team effort?
OP posts:
Report
NiceGerbil · 25/08/2021 00:32

That's so cringey.

3rd trimester refers to the stage of pregnancy anyway, surely. It's not even generally used about the baby is it. The pregnant woman is in her third trimester.

Will he be posting eg...

We can't go long without a pee at the moment!
Our hips have gone all wobbly!
We have piles!
We are sick of being pregnant now!
We find our trousers keep wanting to fall down!
Annoying strangers keep asking us questions!
Our breasts started leaking milk unexpectedly and it was a bit of a shock!
Our skin has gone to shit- so spotty!

Etc etc any of the myriad of things that women can experience in 3rd trimester...

Report
TheWeeDonkey · 25/08/2021 07:18

Oh bless him. Is he waking up with cramp every morning, its so uncomfortable when baby starts kicking the shit out of you isn't it? Poor dear.

Report
Leaveitonthefloordrobe · 25/08/2021 07:40

Love the Mila Kunis clip 🥰

Report
OhHolyJesus · 25/08/2021 08:44

'We' might be pregnant but 'we' aren't a family:

Jay and I would like to have our own biological child. To do this, we’d have to go down the surrogacy route. In traditional surrogacy, the baby is related to the mother – it’s her egg that is fertilised and she’d carry the child. We’ve spoken (often drunkenly) to female friends about them doing this and we always get caught up in the moment, but in reality, this wouldn’t work for us.


We worry it would make things weird between us and the friend and we wouldn’t feel comfortable if they wanted to be a big part of the child’s life. We want to be the child’s only parents and it wouldn’t be fair on either party to enter a situation where neither was 100% happy.
The surrogacy route you see most often – particularly with gay male celebrities, like we’re currently seeing with Ollie Lockee* – is gestational. This involves a donated egg being implanted into a surrogate and can cost tens of thousands of pounds, including fees for fertility treatment and surrogate expenses, among other things."

This man goes on to make the case for NHS funding of surrogacy for gay men (they are both broke and living with a grandparent so maybe that's why the NHS should pay for the surrogate mother's 'expenses') and that if " surrogacy doesn’t work out, maybe we will adopt. It’d be an honour, but I still don’t think it should be an obligation."

And this is interesting. Who do they need 'help' from? Not just fertility doctors...

"While many people (cis-heterosexual included) go through years of trying to conceive, or failed IVF attempts, never having their parenting dreams realised – as gay menn, it is unfortunately inevitable that we will need help to have children*."


https://metro.co.uk/2021/08/21/not-all-gay-men-want-to-adopt-dont-judge-me-for-wanting-my-own-kids-15123816/

Report
Collidascope · 25/08/2021 09:16

OhHolyJesus
Weird he mentions cis, so seems to be a paid up member of gender ideology, and yet he still keeps stating that gay men need a surrogate. I guess TWAW but TMANM. He hasn't realised yet that changing the definition of words doesn't just throw women under the bus, but gay people too.
I also like that he claims to be sick of people saying no to him. "No, you can't use that woman's womb for 9 months and get the NHS to pay her for the service." Yeah, how unreasonable.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.