Feminism: chat
15 year old girl forced to marry her abuser
andyoldlabour · 28/07/2021 12:42
I am failing to comprehend this, how it could happen in the UK. A 15 year old girl from Bradford from a non Muslim background, was forced to marry one of her abusers. She was placed in the care of her abuser's family after becoming pregnant and forced to convert to Islam. Social workers had turned a blind eye to what was happening and one of them even attended the wedding.
What has happened to the UK?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leeds-48106927
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9831797/Bradford-child-abuse-report-reveals-victim-raped-forced-Islamic-marriage.html
Maggiesfarm · 28/07/2021 12:46
That's appalling.
I have heard of such things happening in the Southern States of America, girls as young as 14 being made to marry their abuser if they become pregnant.
If this report is accurate, there must be something we in the UK can do about it. I know there are refuges for girls who are trying to get away from an arranged marriage, run by Muslims.
I feel quite incensed about it.
Maggiesfarm · 28/07/2021 12:51
I see this happened in the past so it is too late for her but I presume she has extricated herself from the marriage now, and it wouldn't have been strictly legal as she was 15.
What on earth was the social worker thinking for goodness sakes?
In the past, officialdom cared little for children in care, 'care' was an ambiguous word in many cases. I thought had times had changed in that regard. This case cannot be that many years ago.
Honestly you can't trust anyone.
OhHolyJesus · 28/07/2021 12:59
There really are no safeguards for children anymore.
A related thread I started.
Child abuse and saying sorry http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/4308143-child-abuse-and-saying-sorry
I'm truly devastated for this poor girl. I don't really know how much more it will take for there to be a National scandal about this (and related failures) on the front page or as the headline of every media outlet in the country.
MotionActivatedDog · 28/07/2021 16:48
When she was 14, she started a relationship with an older man, with her records detailing that her social worker had serious concerns about him.
One entry stated: "Whatever he wants she seems to do which is a cause for concern" and that she has "no concept of the risks she is putting herself at" with him.
But despite this, the social worker recommended she should be allowed to live with the man and his family.
This is just unbelievable!!
gogohm · 28/07/2021 16:48
She was failed by her parents initially, social services and the Islamic authorities who are not meant to conduct Islamic marriage ceremonies (they aren't legal weddings by the way, they weird actually married) for under 18's (16&17 with parental consent which she didn't have)
LynetteScavo · 28/07/2021 17:00
@Whoarethewho
Crap was going on like this when I was at school in the '80s. A 16yo in my year married a 32yo. Another was groomed by men and stayed out all night with them. I wasn't a good friend of hers, but we all knew it was happening.
eightlivesdown · 28/07/2021 17:48
@Wheretobuy
Horrendous!And the other state employees whose job it was to protect the vulnerable, knew grooming / abuse was occurring and looked the other way - local politicians, police, etc.. Misconduct in a public office? At the very least they should be dismissed for failing to do their jobs.
SourAppleChew · 28/07/2021 18:26
The only sense that I can make of it, is that they are prioritising politics and political correctness over young girl's lives.
I've thought this for a while. It's very en vogue to criticise white people (sometimes with good reason) but most people are afraid to criticise Islam for fear of being deemed racist. Sadly, the 'woke' demographic are not typically the ones who suffer the consequences as many seem to be middle class/students/academics/etc.
Fluffycloudland77 · 28/07/2021 18:39
Liberal attitudes, this is where it gets you.
I heard the woman who I think was leader of the council at the time saying she didn’t know about it because she got grief for being a black lesbian so was busy with that.
I mean, we’ve all got shit going on but your paid to do a job so you should do it.
OhHolyJesus · 28/07/2021 18:57
@andyoldlabour
The only sense that I can make of it, is that they are prioritising politics and political correctness over young girl's lives.
There is also no accountabity for the actions of police and social services.
Sacred castes.
This is where it gets you.
I miss Lang.
Yas01 · 28/07/2021 19:36
Abuse and lack of care is universal.
This hasn't got anything to do with Islam! The men and boys who abused this young lady and also the authorities who recommended she marry were following their own opinions. The marriage was probably conducted privately and not through Islamic authority as she was under age and did not have parental consent, which is an essential requirement. She was let down by the care home where she should have been kept safe and all these vile predators who prey on young girls and women. They are not Muslim. Please criticise the people who did this and not blame y for religion.
AlfonsoTheMango · 28/07/2021 19:41
@Yas01
This hasn't got anything to do with Islam! The men and boys who abused this young lady and also the authorities who recommended she marry were following their own opinions. The marriage was probably conducted privately and not through Islamic authority as she was under age and did not have parental consent, which is an essential requirement. She was let down by the care home where she should have been kept safe and all these vile predators who prey on young girls and women. They are not Muslim. Please criticise the people who did this and not blame y for religion.
The men were Muslim and no one is blaming religion.
Stop pointing fingers and accept the situation for what it was.
Micemakingclothes · 28/07/2021 19:50
It does look like the marriage was not legally recognized.
This does still shine a spotlight on an important issue.
Child marriage should be banned. No one under 18 needs to marry, even with parental consent. Yes, a few couples that will have successful, lifelong marriages may get caught up in this ban, but the cost to them is small, simply waiting a bit.
While we must recognize that teenagers have sexual urges and are going to engage in sexual activity, the age of consent needs to be strictly enforced. It must also recognize the power dynamic inherent in adults engaging in relationships with teenagers and limit the acceptable age range for consent. (I really don’t care if this means that the otherwise perfectly matched 17 and 29 year old can’t hook up, there are still all sorts of power dynamic issues there and the adult with life experience should know better)
YouWereGr8InLittleMenstruators · 28/07/2021 20:05
Fluffy, you are referring to a different report into historic child sex abuse at children's homes run by Lambeth Council, and the woman you mention is Linda Bellos who was head of Lambeth Council at the time.
Alfonso, a bit of nuance. My interpretation of what Yas is saying is that the actions of those men are not congruent with the teachings of Islam?
But boy am I done with the cultural relativism of professionals, including in my own field, who have distinctly different expectations of process and outcomes for victims and perpetrators of abuse from non-white, religiously or culturally diverse backgrounds. I have banged my head against the wall about FGM / FGC in my local authority for years, but it is always softly, softly, and recently, it seems to have fallen off the map altogether.
AlfonsoTheMango · 28/07/2021 20:06
@Micemakingclothes
This does still shine a spotlight on an important issue.
Child marriage should be banned. No one under 18 needs to marry, even with parental consent. Yes, a few couples that will have successful, lifelong marriages may get caught up in this ban, but the cost to them is small, simply waiting a bit.
While we must recognize that teenagers have sexual urges and are going to engage in sexual activity, the age of consent needs to be strictly enforced. It must also recognize the power dynamic inherent in adults engaging in relationships with teenagers and limit the acceptable age range for consent. (I really don’t care if this means that the otherwise perfectly matched 17 and 29 year old can’t hook up, there are still all sorts of power dynamic issues there and the adult with life experience should know better)
I think you've misunderstood. Islamic ceremonies are not legally binding in the UK.
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