whats the point

[5MoreMinutesPlease]

god i'm so lonely. everywhere i go t make friends or at least talk to people i fail. there's something intrinsically unlikable about me. i thought once the baby arrived i'd make friends with other mums and it'd be alright but its not. i don't want to go back on meds as i won't be able to cosleep but i feel so low and he has colic and husbands moved out and i really wonder what the point is or even why i'm posting as it seems never ending.

Hello - you sound really upset

How old is your ds?

My ds had colic and it is a nightmare but it does pass - guess your ds is only a few weeks/months old then? And your dh moving out - that's a big thing, no wonder you are feeling bad.

I don't think there's a reason why you can't co leep on anti depressants as long as you are not on a type that makes you sleepy.

Have you discussed your feelings with a hv or gp?

thanks for replying, he's had colic since about two weeks old and he's three months now and its not lessening at all and hv says becuase he was early it could go on another month or so. i was on a variety of meds before and i really wanted to stay off them and be a good mum and get it all right but i feel trapped in wrong-ness. it must be my fault that he's got colic, it's me being wrong and thats why dh has moved out, i dont deserve happiness and now my ds is being punished for my wrongness.
what have i done m poor baby

How is it your fault that he has colic? I'm not aware of a link between maternal mental health or even medication and colic.

My ds was very ill from 12 hours old and was 3 weeks by the time he came home. He always had my milk but in the hospital it was every four hours and once he came home it was on tap!!!! I think he overfed for a while and that triggered it. Some say colic is caused by an immature digestive system and that could well be the cause if your baby was early.

Maybe you had a part to play in your dh leaving but it certainly wouldn't be all your fault!! That's silly thinking and depression talking.

I can imagine your hesitation to go on the meds again but you can't carry on feeling as bad as this can you - you deserve better. If you have a good hv talk to her, if not talk to your gp

maybe your right about the overfeeding, he's been on a 2 month growth spurt, most weeks he's been gaining a pound.
i know i should probably get some help but i'm scared if i do then my husband will try to take him away me, he says he won't but i'm scared.

Your husband doesn't have the right to take your child away from you. If he would take it that far he would have to go to court for a residence order and the judge would want to know why your child can't stay with you.

Being depressed and finding it hard to cope with an ill child and a husband who's abandoned you does not constitute reason!

Sweetie if you are on your own with a colicky baby, no wonder you are feeling this way, it must be very hard for you.

Please ask for some help.

I'm sure that there is nothing unlikeable about you, it is probably the fact that you are feeling down that people pick up on, and it often makes people feel uncomfortable - but this isn't your fault.

Don't feel a failure if you go back on the meds, do what helps you.

Keep posting if you can.