I now understand how people can walk away from their OH and DCs

[SagacityNell]

Because i could quite happily slip away and not be heard from or seen again right now.

oh that is so

Are you still taking the mirtazapine, I presume it's not working for you

still taking it and tried to get an appt with my gp but he is away. asked for another gp and told her its urgent and the next bookable one is not until 8th july onwards. Which i can't book yet

Had enough, everything is far too stressful. even the really tiny things. I am absolutely fucking (sorry) knackered. I just want to go to sleep and either never wake up or wake up somewhere else entirely.

Sagacity

I thought GPs surgeries had to keep some emergency appointments aside. This constitutes an emergency, you should not be kept waiting over a week, it's ridiculous.

I'm so sorry. Please don't do anything irrational. When I had PND after having DS2 I was so exhausted, drained and miserable I kept hoping I'd fall down the stairs or get hit by a bus or something so I'd end up in hospital and be able to get away from it all. Fortunately my GP was great (surgery booked me in an emergency slot with the on-call doctor).

Keep pushing doctor's surgery - or even go to a walk-in clinic if GP won't see you. Whatever you do don't suffer in silence.

They do keep some aside but you have to ring at 8am. By 8:02 they are usually gone. Of course, at that time in the morning i have 3 DCs to get ready and a husband to trip over.
They say to try after lunch but there are rarely any left.

Plus i have a phobia of talking on the phone. Yep, freak i know. So i don't want to keep ringing.

I'm not about to plunge a knife in my chest or anything. Is that what you mean by irrational?. However, it is a good job i can't drive as i would have driven until i ran out of fuel

am with you Sagacity, would love to be invisible and have this fantasy of being able to wipe out everyones' feelings for me, as if I never existed, so that if I disappeared it wouldn't hurt them

yes! that's exactly it Serajen!