please someone tell me im not mad and there is hope :(

[hellllp]

please go easy on me..

I have been feeling more and more stressed latley about anything...my DC, DP, housework, money...etc etc. I think im probly suffering from mental and physical exhustion, I do most of the child care and house work on my own, sort out the money etc. I feel so tired and mentally drained. I no there are loads of people iun much worse situations so feel crap moaning

I have started snapping at everyone close to me, i have no patients anymore, im turning into one of those shouty mums and am not the person i used to be.

I have been throught abit of a rough time with my dp (mental DV)for the last few years and things are just starting to improve but i feel depressed still like its affected me in a big way that im struggleing to come back from.

Alot of things are coming into my head from years ago which i thought i had totally got over or had shifted to the the back of my head but are some how having an effect on my life now. i feel so useless and dont no were to start in turning things back around for my DC's sake

I hate the mum i am and just really want to sort myself out for my childrens sake

dont no why i am posting really...just wanted some reasurrance from anyone who has been in a similar situation that things can improve and where to start..am thinking about going to get some anti depressants..but will that help?

appologies for the long mone...needed to vent somewere other than the real world.

You are not alone.

Try the ADs. If they don't help, they don't help, but even if they just help for a while it gets you the space to work out the rest iyswim.

Have you had any counselling about the mental dv? are you still with the dp?

Most importantly - TELL PEOPLE. Tell your friends etc. Even if you think they must know how you are feeling, they don't. Believe me. So many people said to me "But you never said! You know you can talk to me" - I just assumed that they must know, and were ignoring it. Having how you are feeling out in the open lifts a huge weight.

Perhaps you could work out a time with your DH for him to look after the DCs so that you can go and spend some time doing something you'd like to do? Maybe swimming or yoga? Exercise has been proven as the best thing for depression, far better than ADs

Maybe after years of emotional abuse you just need some time for yourself to build up your own self esteem again. Your DH should understand and support you in finding some time for yourself.