if I didn't have children I would kill myself today

[memoo]

feel like a big lump of useless shit.

don't want to be here a minute longer

every day is so long and painful i just can't bare it any longer

the only thing that stops me from killing myself is the pain it would cause my children and can't bare to hurt them. Love them more than anything

[piratecat]

hi memoo,

i just want you to know that I am here to 'talk' to, as much as i can i understand. I have honestly been where you are, and been there for ten yrs or more.

They need to get those meds bloody sorted. Long shot but have you tried Prozac?

Please come back and let us know how your day is going. hugs to you xxxxxxx

[SagacityNell]

Memoo - would speaking to Samaritans help?

I know everyone is saying to ring your CPN but it seems as if you don't want to.

[kizzie]

Hi Memoo- im sorry today was so incredibly hard. I know youve been through a horrible time but it will get better. Just keep hanging on.
Thinking of you x

[Doyouthinktheysaurus]

Hope you are coping this evening memoo. Take care of yourself.

[memoo]

hi, feeling a little better this evening. DH got home at 3 and so I went a slept til dinner time.

Still can't get rid of the feeling of not wanting to be here. Just need to keep telling myself that things will get better.

Thanks for all your support today

[piratecat]

hi, just logged on to see you'd posted.
Your dh sounds lovely memoo, I am glad oyu got some rest.

rest is key. Be kind to yourself, try to say postive kind things to your true self, your inner person/child, just remember you deserve a happy life. Your kids deserve a happy mummy.

I foyu start to feel awful and run yourself down, just say to yourself, this will pass, I am in there, I am ok, and i will get better, i just need time.
xxxxxxx

[honeynutloops]

How are you feeling today Memoo?

[piratecat]

hi memoo (waves) hope you get to read my thread from last night. How are you today?

[sammyjoseph4321]

it probably dosent sound to good me saying this but i know exactly how u feel, my life is so crap. if it wasnt fot my kids i feel exactly the same. im homeless now and staying with a friend some days are good some days are bad. struggling to pay for things that i cant afford. this life just isnot fair. im trying to complete te second year of my course but staying at my friends is getting to me. my appearance has changed and i dont care about myself any more. i love my kids so i cant let them down but each day i wake up and i feel like ive let them down. all i can say is just try and put your mind to something possitve, focus on it and maybe u will feel a lot better. good luck

[Jjl221310]

I feel the exact same I am sorry u are going through this and I am sorry I have no advice for you I just hope the best for you I have a 9 yr 6yr and 1yr old and if it weren't for them I would not be here right now even with medication/counselling etc

[Lalakels]

Memoo are you ok. I am 6 years late to the convo but when I googled 'if it wasn't for my kids I would give up' this thread appeared. I desperately want to know that you made it. I hope so xx

[loneley]

I no how you feel and you are not aloan i have no famlie or friends live in a place i dont like or no any one my marrage is amess i dont no when life will get better just have to put a smile on your face for the kids but deep down i realy do just won't to give up.

[Reassurance]

8 years late to this thread but I feel the exact same way. I hope things have improved for you because it would give me some hope.

I haven't quite sold myself on it but I feel like we shouldn't be living for our kids, but for ourselves to witness our kids growing up. The will to live needs to come from self, and our kids are important to us, so just imagine all the happy times you have ahead as your kids grow. I'm crying my eyes out typing this on my phone because I want to believe this idea.

I hope I can convince myself that witnessing my children's future is enough.

[pudd0710]

Recently I have felt totally overwhelmed with life. I feel I'm not capable in any area of my life and I'm barely clinging on. My son is 13 and my world but even there i know I am just carrying out the basics where care is concerned. I cannot tell my OH as he would just put this down to tiredness or something that will blow over. I want to assure that I won't be doing anything as inconceivable as ending anything because I am literally all my son has.. but how do I get out of this way of thinking? My life is just not my own. Money and living situation and OH lack of realism makes me just want to give up. I work so hard for so little. I cannot do anymore

[MsGrohl]

pudd0710 how are you feeling today? I get it. I feel the same and just wanted to see if you were okay this evening x

[Me2020]

I hear you baby girl xxxxxxxxx I feel the same, my life is pointless except my babies (10 and 11 year old) would be fkn devastated so we must just live in the misery 😔 for their sake. It’s soooo sh!te I just wanted to say I’m with you, I have no answers x

[Me2020]

Ps I at least have done the right thing in getting rid of negativity in my life like OH etc, there’s just my own demons to deal with. Oh doesn’t give a shit anyway and we are long divorced but the kids adore the fkn loser and my daughter says, ‘poor dad can’t buy anything as he’s so skint (meaning: because of me)’ breaks my heart and so I have got to be here for her despite it being soo shit. I’m not rich it’s just him emotionally abusing my children so they think it’s all my fault. If anyone knows of a hitman please do contact me

[Me2020]

Sorry I’m on one! Just like my ex is taking me to court, he’s trying to claim against me despite a clean break. It’s harassment. But whatever, I couldn’t give a flying fk. This is my life now, I do what I can when I can, most days I do zero, once you’re ready to go I’ll do it with you but not til the kids are grown up as they won’t understand. All my love xxxx

[Ghost1234]

. I have 2 kids myself and they r my world. I’m here because they are 😓