What's happened - please help

[sparklingchampagne]

Over the last few months I have been getting more and more anxious about many random things - to the point where I start feeling dizzy and unable to cope several times a day. I get furiously angry and irritable, and lose it if things aren't exectly how I want them - washing, DD sleeping, DH tidying up etc.
I have been trying to cope with this - but yesterday evening I sort of went beserk. I started screaming and shouting at DH, ranting for an hour. In the end he walked out of the room and I followed him into the kitchen and remeber feeling like everything was falling in on me then I collapsed and fell down the steps and ended up in a curled ball on the floor.
Physically I am in a mess, my shins are massively cut and bruised, my face and elbows and arms are cut and bruised, I feel as though I have whiplash.
I have been in bed all day today with a migraine (funny that) and feel utterly exhausted - like I have nothing left in me.
I think I should see the doctors on MOnday, but wondered what is happenign to me.
I am scared.

What a nightmare, poor you. You sound like you are at breaking-point.

How old is your DD, could you be suffering with PND at all?

It's normal for things to "all get a bit much" from time to time, but the fact you have collapsed, is a bit of a worry.

What triggered you off yesterday evening -was it something DH did?

Yes, I think you should go to the GP too.

Have you generally been feeling low and anxious, or is it more about specific things. Are you still able to laugh about things, enjoy the things you used to, concentrate on a book etc. If not, you may need to be checked out for depression.

Thank you for replying so quickly.
DD is 5. I did have PND with DD which wasn't diagnosed until she was 3, so I'd just got worse and worse. I was put on Citalopram for a year, and as soon as I was off it my boss (who I was close to) died suddenly, and recently a friend of mine has handed in her notice, so I am doing three jobs instead of one as they won't replace.
I can't concentrate on anything - I look forward to reading books but I just can't. I can force myself to enjoy things for my families sake, but inside I am just worrying about what will happen next and I never focus on just enjoying myself.
I just want to be normal.

Oh my, you've had so much to deal with.

Sounds like you've just had one thing on top of another and now your body is saying enough is enough and it is coming out in these symptoms of anxiety and rage.

The fact you can't concentrate and the thing about putting on a front for friends and family, are classic signs of depression TBH.

Did the citalopram help you? Would you consider going back on it?

It did help, yes, but I didn't want to become dependent on it.
It was fine while I was on it - but I think I might need something else as well like CBT to stop things coming back when I'm not on it.
I will make an appointment with the doctors on Monday
Thank you x

I can totally understand that. I'm trying to wean myself off my AD at the moment for that very same reason. I hate having to take something, but reached a kind of "peace" about it - knowing that it was just for a period of time until I got better.

CBT is very good for helping in the longer term.

Hope you get on ok on monday,

x