Iam so sorry, such a bad mum.

[mpuddleduck]

I feel like sh.t, and have probably ruined my sons life.
I overeacted big time this morning. I usually manage to stop, but this morning it all came out and I feel so bad now.
This morning I smacked him on the back and told him I feel like putting a pipe on the cars exhaust and killing us all.
Why didn't I control myself, he is only 7, we both ended up crying and ds2 who is 4 came and gave me a hug as well. Now I don't know whether to apologise to ds and bring it up again or leave it.

I know how you feel. I lost it big time when DS2 was born as DS1 who is 4 was being a total PITA. Twas awful. I had a total meltdown and sobbed so hard DS1 thought I was laughing and then when he realised I wasn't tried to climb up and feed the baby as he was at a loss what to do.

The image of that haunts me now.

You are a good mum who prob has too much on her plate. Give yourself a break and go and kiss your boys goodnight!

are you getting help for your problems? if not, make an appt with gp in the morning.

Hi - in your situation I would make time to sit down with my son, explain that I'd been having a bad day and lost my temper, that I was really sorry and loved him very much. It won't do him any harm to hear you say sorry and that you love him, but it might harm him to think that you meant what you said. Can you work out what it was that made you flip this morning? It sounds like you're quite stressed out and that something pushed you over the edge. I hope you have a better day tomorrow x

what others have said.

are you a lone parent?

I was a total arse tonight to ds 6.I screamed at him "just go to bed and do as you are told!" because he was pressing my buttons.

he has just lost his dad and trying tomake sense but i was in a bad place too.

you are only human.Tommorow give your ds love and cuddles but understand you are only human too.I you are raelly struggling please go and see your gp.
(((()))Mavis

feeling like a bad mum too if that helps.

I think everyone gets like this, even calm sensible people. We had a long day out today at the beach with Aunties and Uncles from DH's side and they spent most of the day snipping remarks at me, that I can't control my kids.
They spent most of the day winding them up and then just say that our kids are "Not normal", too "Hyperactive".
Well I was bitting my tongue, until we got home at around 10pm and then my DD1 managed to throw milk all down the wall (don't ask how).
And I did lose it with her a bit and threw a teddy at her and said that I "hated her".
But we made up in the end, but it's that constant, layering of pressure that gets picked up throughout the day and then the pressure lock just bursts!!
We are only human. Worry about the ones who say they never smack or shout, they do much worse..

It's a horrible feeling and everyone loses it sometimes - tells kids off when they don't deserve it. Everyone. You're not bad, you're normal.

But it's important to back track on what you said because that could really freak him out. And also make him feel responsible for the safety of the family: if I don't do as I'm told, we'll all die.

I'm not blaming you. I have said the most awful things - and I'm too cowardly to repeat them here - when i've been really in the stranglehold of depression. But the important thing is to make it very VERY clear you didn't mean it. That you were tired and stressed and love them and that you will now make it a priority to get better so you don't talk to him that way and frighten him again. Be really clear: Mummy was wrong. I don't mean it.

And let him speak too. Give him plenty of time to say how he felt if he wants to, as it won't be easy for him. But also don't dwell on it. One conversation then leave it and be as up beat as possible. I'm talking to myself here as much as you, btw, so I hope it doesn't come over as a lecture.

I haven't said what you said but only this morning I screamed at my son for wetting the bed. He does it all the time and in 8 years this is the first time I've ever reacted as though it were bad behaviour not an uncontrollable physical condition. But I'm so stressed elsewhere right now, and so busy I hadn't even had time to renew my anti-deps script, so have been off them for four days when i really need them. I apologised and said it was my fault not his that I lost it and he was sweet about it, but still feel like rubbish letting him go to school with a morning drama weighing him down.

I screamed at my oldest 2 a lot yesterday and for tiny things so you aren't the only shouty mum

We have all been there seriouslyJust forget the whole incident, tommorrow is another day