Help me out with my fucked up thoughts please!!

[BigMommaOfAlmost4]

OK when I was around 12/13 I was given a book for 'young ladies' which gave advice on careers, managing money etc and in which you could write down your hopes and expectations in life.

I had completely forgotten about it until my mum gave it to me (had kept it for over 20 years)about 5 years ago and I was gobsmacked when I read it and saw that I had written that I wanted to marry a dark haired, brown eyed man, that I wanted to have a girl and two boys as my children, all with brown eyes and that I wanted to live in London and America.

Well all of that came true! So it seems the universe answered my requests!

Now though I am getting very worrying thoughts (I do have OCD so not unusual to have them ) in that I am 35 weeks pregnant again with a boy and I am now worried that as I only asked for 2 boys something may happen to the DSs (who are twins which makes it even more freaky) I have already or that the one I am carrying will not make it. I also lost a DD 9 years ago at birth so have thoughts that happened because I only asked for one girl so it is therefore my fault.

I know it sounds crazy and irrational but I have been so worried because DS1 (who has mild asthma) has been a bit ill with a cough and this morning was out of breath after running around the playground. I have been expecting the school to call me all day saying he has collapsed with breathing difficulties or something .

Someone rational please help me sort this out in my head!!

Stop thinking about it. You're not psychic. Nothing else weird like that has happened (I presume). It's chance - and also the fact that you have probably always felt arracted to men with dark hair and brown eyes. And anyway, a lot of men fit that description.

Have you spoken to anyone about this?

I have very similar thoughts and problems (expecting phone calls from school etc)... I too know in reality it is all very silly, but I cannot seperate it from reality when I am feeling that that it is real

Obviously what you wrote is a coincidence.

Fate doesn't hand us out things because we, as children, wanted them or else the world would be absolutly full of ballerinas and astronaughts

Seriously though, your babies will be fine, just sit down, relax do some breathing techniques and tell yourself that you know its all coincidental and your babies will be born fine.

I'm sorry about your DD (((hugs)))

You know this is nonsense. When you are anxious you can believe anything. I remember when my OCD was bad I would have to perform certain rituals to stop bad things happening. I watched Baddiel and Skinner (comedy sketches) and the man on the news announced unfortunately there has been a plane crash and 200 people have been killed because Mr Thomas of Acacia Gardens missed his waste paper basket. I laughed buy it made me realise how rediculous this way of thinking is.
If you can command events to your will just by writing them down you must be God and we should all worship you. You can save everyone. But you are not you are a lucky woman who not only got her hearts desires but more besides. Try to put these thoughts out of your head. If you can't, talk to your GP.

Okay I know what you mean about the laws of attraction. I do believe in the laws of attraction and think it was more than a coincidence. However just because you've already got what you wanted doesn't mean you can't write the sequel? Just imagine another healthy lovely wonderful boy playing along with your other children. Laws of attraction isn't supposed to be a thriller. More like you being more in control of your own world. Re-think your old family picture and make a new one. Add some puppies for good measure;)

OK. Rationally: it's wonderful that you have fulfilled the dreams you wrote down. Writing things down to make them come true is an age-old way of focusing and making things happen. i do it all the time. All you need to do now is buy a new book and write down what you want for the next five/ten years. And that can include to give birth to a healthy little boy, to overcome your OCD etc.

Try and see that diary as a positive: proof that when you set your mind to it you can achieve your dreams. It's called creative visualisation btw if you're interested in finding out more. And one of the most important rules of it is that your dreams can and do change and it's fine to rewrite old ones to incorporate new hopes and desires. It works better that way.

Excellent points. I will now write my sequel and add in me losing my baby weight quickly after the birth as well!

That's a really positive thought thanks so much.

I had that book!! Sadly it got lost in a move - wish i could see what I wrote now.

I have episodes of severe anxiety so understand the thoughts but agree with the others - celebrate the positive things that have come true and add a little extra paragraph for your gorgeous new baby .

x