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What should I do about my neighbour?

6 replies

WorkingItOutAsIGo · 12/06/2010 09:18

My neighbour is a single woman in her thirties, who has lost both her parents in the last year (one to suicide). She is now living in their home. I knew her parents quite well but only know her to say hello to in the street. But I gather from people at one of the funerals that she has had MH issues in the past.

Clearly, she has had a very tough year, and I think must be very lonely, and I also worry she is a drinking a lot : we have been seeing her occasionally in the street, dressed only in nightwear on her way back from the shops with a bag of bottles. I have been worried about her for a while but beyond stopping and chatting briefly in the street havent actually done anything to help her - and have been feeling guilty about this but not quite sure that I would know what to do.

Now her behaviour has got really bizarre - I don't want to say too much as don't want to make her identifiable - but she seems to be reliving her late parent's illness and telling us she has all their symptons (I doubt this is true); she has thrown out all 'foreign' things from her house as 'it is bad for British people to use foreign things' and has been sitting half-naked in her downstairs front-room in full view of the street.

It's gone from a situation where I felt I ought to be being neighbourly to help her to one where I realise it's beyond me. I have no idea whether she is seeing a doctor or getting any kind of help, and don't think I can go and knock on her door to ask - nor am I sure that I would believe if she said she was as some of her recent statements on her health are quite unbelievable. I don't know any other of her family or friends so don't know who else to ask. But I am worried for her and about her mental state - she seems to me to be on the verge of a breakdown.

Should I leave well alone and assume she must be getting help or should I speak to someone, and if so, who do I go to? I've no experience of this so don't know where to turn, and am equally worried that maybe she is fine and if I 'shop' her it might cause all sorts of problems for her.

Thanks for any advice : I've not been on this board before - am more of an AIBU lurker - and have never started a thread before, but have been worrying about this poor woman and DH and I just are at a loss about what we should do.

OP posts:
MarineIguana · 12/06/2010 09:24

She sounds ill and I think you're right that you can't do much to help personally, but you could try your local social services to start with. I don't think they will cause problems for her - assuming she doesn't have children, so that's not an issue - but they should know how to get her some help.

TheArmadillo · 12/06/2010 09:27

agree phone your local adult social services and report her as a vunerable person.

WorkingItOutAsIGo · 12/06/2010 09:42

Thanks so much - somehow saying that we can say 'here is someone vulnerable' makes me much more comfortable about it, because you are right, I think she is.

Should I wait till Monday? There's nothing that makes me feel it's an emergency - she's been getting more strange over a period of three weeks or so - but having decided on doing something I would rather start getting her help immediately. Do social services work over the weekend or is that just for real emergencies?

OP posts:
MarineIguana · 12/06/2010 09:48

Try googling social services and your local council? There will be some kind of weekend/emergency cover - if there's a phone number and someone there, just describe it all to them and they can decide how urgent it is.

WorkingItOutAsIGo · 12/06/2010 10:05

Thanks, have made the call and it will be onpassed to the duty social worker and I feel much better now that the situation is known about by someone more experienced than me.

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Curiousmama · 12/06/2010 10:07

Was also going to suggest SS. Glad you feel better and it's good to know there are people like you out there.

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