This is exsisting not living.

[Louise1980]

Things are really stressfull at the moment. Last few days all ive done is cry. Its been over stupid things. I just cant cope with anything!

Ive been back to my GP today and she thinks it could be coz Im bleeding so heavy. I cant talk any higher a dose of AD's but at the moment sometimes i feel like i could take the whole packet.

Im sick of having to force myself to get out of bed in the mornings, I just want to stay there all day. When i am up i sit on the computer all day or watching telly. I dont do house work and Ive stopped cooking proper meals. Kids are living off chicken nuggets and sandwiches. Sometimes i lie in bed and think all i do is shout at my kids and wonder if they are better off without me. I dont play with them or anything anymore just let them get on playing themselves and they can make as much mess as they like.

Just to refreh you Im alone with the boys 3 and 4.5 and they are very hard to handle. But at the moment they rnt being too much trouble just now but the fighting doesnt help me.

Sounds stupid but everytime i tell some1 about this i feel a little bit better.

Well for those of you who are still with me thank you for reading to the end.

x x x

Forgot to mention that my GP has put me on the mini pill to try to reduce the bleeding.

Poor you! it sounds as though you are having a hard time at the moment. I don't have any advice but wanted you to know someone has read your post to the end and is thinking of you.

I know where you are coming from, i have been very tearful lately over stupid things, everything just seems to be to much. me and dp are arguing over stupid stuff and money and we never have before.
it is always better to get stuff off your chest
cheer up x

I read it to the end as well and it makes me realise that my bad day is nothing when I read your post. I have goos days and bad days after coming off of anti depressants about a year ago. I know how hard it is with 3 although I have 2 boys and a girl, which is probebly easier in some ways and harder in some ways.

This post obviously has no advice, but I wanted you to know that I read your post and have huge sympathy with you. Take care of yourself x x x.

Thank you all.

I do get a lot of help from my parents and the boys are in sure start 2 mornings a week to try to give me some me time.

My freind dragged me to McDonalds today and to be honest its the first decent meal Ive had for days.

Louise1980- just wanted to say try keeping your chin up. Iknow how you are feeling. even though I am not on my own (I have been there in the past.) I have been feeling similar to you not wanting to go out etc.

Once I am out I find I am ok but it takes a real effort to go out of the house at the moment.

Just keep posting and we will offer you all the support and friendly advice that we can.

Take care
xx

louise1980 I have felt like this and have suffered very bad postnatal depression after all my four children and have had to go on ani depr. each time which i hate by the way. Although I know it is not postnatal depression you are suffereing I have come off my tablets when doc told me to and have then gone on to suffer normal (what is normal) depression for no reason and have had to go back on them. I have felt my family and world would be better of without me and have suffered terribly in my life post my children but have gone on fighting even though some days I wonder what is the point....it takes a strong person to stay alive and fight.

Well ive had a good day today. I have a family support worker from sure start and we had a talk today.

Ive tidied 2 rooms and don3e washing today as well as making some broth so im hoping this is me getting back up again.

Ive been as low as i think i could possibly go when i have begged paramedics to leave me. I didnt get that low this time, thankfully.

I have you lot now and although i never see any of you and you might not do much but i know that you are there.

Thanks

P.S I got myself a babysitter so Im goin out on friday!!!!! Yippeeeee!!

well done you.. enjoy your night out.

hugs and stuff xx