My dads just been diagnosed with depression

[thefinerthingsinlife]

I've always thought of him has invincible and this has made me realise he's not, silly I know. He's refuses to be ill, and is the worlds worse patient. So I don't think he's going to deal with it very well.

Is there anyway we can help him through it?

Tell him I know you are depressed - if you want to talk I'm always here for you. Then go with how he approaches things. To an extend if he wants to act as if he's not struggling that's his coping strategies. Too much fusisng can make it worse.

Let him know that you are thinking of him and that you are there for him. Is living with your mum, someone else?

Yes he lives with my mum, they're in a happy marriage.

He's only 50 so still works full time, The dr says he takes to much on and bares the weight of the world on his shoulders, and that thats not helped the situation {confused]

I think its a bit of a shock as he'd orginally gone in for a diabities test

My Dad has suffered from terrible depression for years finerthings. Like you I always had him down as invincible. He has had a very bad time but is loads better now thank goodness. He says now that aside from having a supportive family around him what helped him was talking to people who had been through the same thing. He was introduced to a brother of an acquaintance during the period he was really bad who had been through the same thing and this guy has become one of his closest friends. He always says that depression is like belonging to a terrible, elite club and unless you have been there, you can't truly understand. And being of a generation of men who don't wear their heart on their sleeves, who don't think of using the internet for support etc getting this understanding from somewhere is important.The other things that were crucial for him were a combination of medication and intensive therapy. He has recently been helping a friend of mine who is suffering from depression and he said the one thing he tried to get across to her was that she would get better with the right help as that was the lifeline his friend provided him with when he had no hope. Agree with willsurvive this re going with how he copes with it.My Dad withdraws totally when he has a(now rare)low, we always tried to talk to him, help him etc but he has since explained that it is part of his way of coping.
Look after yourself as well. It's obviously worse for the sufferer but it's not easy coping with someone elses depression at times.

So does your dad or for that matter your mum agree that he is depressed?

oh definitely, there is no doubt because at the time he had to be sectioned. However he now says looking back he thinks he was ill for a couple of years at least before the breakdown but didnt recognise it as such-just thought he was tired, anxious, feeling down etc.
What has the doc suggested? Is he on meds?

Sorry Banana thanks for sharing but that question was meant of Finerthings

He doesn't, he thinks it's the dr just trying to diagnose him with something, but my mum does, she's the one that sent him to the dr's, made the apt etc. Otherwise he would never of gone

I'm pleased your dad is better BananaGio, it gives me hope that my dad will get better too. Thank you

Well if your mum does it's probably true - sometimes it's the people nearest to you that can see it best.

I have friends who can tell when I'm struggling the minute they see me walk in before I've opened my mouth.

Sounds like your dad has a lot of loving upport around him - that will see him through.

Thank you WST you've given me hope that we can get through this as a family

Sorry WST,was running out the door and didnt check name

Banana I'm glad you shared your experience, just wanted OP to respond too IYSWIM - hope I didn't sound unfriendly

no not at all