I don't know how to get out of this slump

[feedmenow]

I feel so low and I don't know what to do about it.

I haven't had an easy ride of things over the last few years but I thought I was on my way up. I got through a difficult anniversary in March and expected to be able to look at coming off my a/d's by now. But I just feel so crap and I don't know how to make it better.

I'm doing all the things I should be doing - eating well, exercising, sleeping, making plans and getting on with everyday life and work. But I feel so anxious and panicky whenever I'm alone (namely driving to work and back) and then when the children are in bed in the evening I just feel so lost and alone.

I'm desperate not to feel like this but I don't know what else to do to make it better.

I'm so sorry you feel like this fmn. But you have the motivation to get out of this because you have already acknowledged that you want too.
The times you feel worse are when you are on your own so you dwell on things. When I get like this (as I feel similar to you every couple of months) I allow myself a certain amount of dwelling time and thats it.
I'm sorry I cant offer much help but I am here if you need to talk.
x

Don't put yourself under pressure to come off the ADs before you are ready. There is nothing wrong with taking them, it sounds like you may need to up your dose for a little while? It may feel like a defeat in the short-term but in the long run it will be better that you get well. You can think about coming off them when you've had a period of 6 months or more of feeling really well.

Hi feedmenow so sorry you are struggling badly. Agree with getdown that this is probably not the time to tell yourself that you 'should' come off the ads. The idea is that you come off those once you have felt ok again for a while.

Have you had any counselling to deal with how you are feeling?

It sounds like you are disappointed that you are not feeling as well as you wanted to feel. But you can't help that jsut like you cannot help a back injury healing any quiker.

Well done for taking all the right steps - it will pay off.

Thank you for the comments ladies.

I'm seeing my GP on Thursday in the hope of maybe tempararily increasing my dose because I just don't feel like I'm managing. I'm literally up and down like a yo-yo.

Even in the last week since I posted I can feel myself sliding lower, and the levels of panic increasing.

Willsurvive, I've seen different therapists and counsellors over the years but none of them are "right" for me. Plus, it seems ridiculous but I cover it all up. I find it really, really hard to open up to anyone, whether they are friends or stangers, and will continue to do that stiff upper lip thing of saying I'm fine. And if I do let go and break down, I'll try and pull myself together and brush over it.

Even the people I am closest too have no idea how low I feel, probably mainly because I don't let them see it.