Am I Normal? Or is this a form of depression

[IsThisNormal2]

Hi,

I'm new here, but have been a lurker for a long time.

I have a history of depression and chronic anxiety.

For as long as I can remember, I have worried constantly about what people are thinking about me...I replay experiences, conversations, events from my past over and over in my mind...trying to work out how I could have improved people's opinions of me.

I find having distraction helps alot. But I have recently become a SAHM and this social anxiety (or whatever it is) has intensified so much since I'm not surrounded by other people all day...it's crippling me. It affects my sleeping, my eating, my relationship with my husband and my DD...it affects everything.

I don't worry about what strangers are thinking about me...I worry about what friends and family are thinking about me. Specifically people from my hometown and school...

I'm worried that I'm either going to sound like whinger here, or that I'm going to sound loopy.

I worry especially about what people think about my appearance, my house, my DH, his job (all of which are normal).

I'm desperate to seem like a 'normal' person...I don't tell people how I feel. But social situations are incredibly stressful...I just want to run away and hide from the world.

Is this normal? Is it a kind of depression?

I'm really at a low ebb.

I apologise for this being long...I feel as though this anxiety has reached crisis point.

if anyone has any thoughts, I would be very grateful to read them...

Thank you.

Hi - whats 'normal' varies hugely from person to person - but this is clearly affecting your life in a negative way so its worth trying to tackle it.
CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) is probably the best first step.

Thanks Kizzie...

I'll maybe try to find out if I can see a CBT therapist/counsellor on the NHS.

Thanks for your reply...

It is normal imo to replay conversations, to be concerned about what other people may think, to want to excle and impress people. What's not good is when this starts to control your life or make everyday activity difficult. Maybe have a chat with your GP. Lots and lots of people have trouble with anxiety or stress and this manifests itself in lots of different ways - you definately aren't loopy. In fact - wanting to change this is extremely sane!

Thank you for the reassurance Northern.