How Can I get myself admitted to hospital - can't carry on any longer!!

[BigMommaOfAlmost4]

I have 3DC at home and am almost 33 weeks pregnant with DC5 (DD2 stillborn at 30 weeks 9 years ago). I really wanted this baby and it was totally my choice but can't cope with the pregnancy.

I was diagnosed with OCD last year after suffering with it for 25 years plus. It's been a relief to know what it is and I am having CBT for it but this pregnancy has been a nightmare with the OCD being relentless. Never had this with my previous pregnancies because if I knew this would happen, I would never, ever have got pregnant again.

I just cannot get any peace in my mind, intrusive, horrible, depressing thoughts constantly fill my mind from the moment I wake up in the morning. I am tearful all the time, cannot cope with doing anything and feel like shit from the time I get up until the time I go to bed. DH works from 9am to 9pm at least so I do not get any help with the DCs (who are not babies, youngest is 8 but they are very hard work, especially the teenager). Yet again another school holiday with shit, rainy depressing weather and no family or friends to call on. This is the first time in my life, I have seriously thought that I cannot carry on. Also last month we had to move as we rent and our landlord wanted to sell so we had to find another place at short notice and for less money (finances tight now) and all we could find was a horrible, tiny house in a shitty area far away from the DCs schools which has completely depressed me and I am blaming myself for getting pregnant when I should have looked for another job (was made redundant last year) because then we would not have to live in this shithole!!

I really can't bear the thought of carrying on for another 7 weeks and want this baby out so my hormones can calm down and I can cope with everyday things again. Short of running away, the only other thing I can think of is going into hospital until the birth so DH can deal with the DCs and all the other shit and I don't have to (he would not take any time off work unless I was completely incapacitated). With my last pregnancy (twins), the medics were constantly trying to keep me in and I had to fight to stay at home so I cannot believe I feel like this this time.

I'm sorry you are feeling so awful - especially at this exhausting stage in your pregnancy.

Not sure you need to be admitted to hospital or that it is the best thing to happen now. If your dh can support you when you are in hospital he can do so now. In fact I would assume the idea of you being in hospital for 6 weeks or so would panic him enough that he would get stuck in.

Are you on any medication at all? Getting any support with feeling like this? If not please go see your GP.

You can do it. This is a hard stage of pregnancy and your baby will be here soon!!

Hi - could you contact homestart for some help? You can self refer if you have a child under 5, I think, my friend did this and found the person who came round once a weekf or a few hours helpful... she'd play with her children so she could do other things, or chat etc - whatever was needed.

Also if you are seriously considering hospital so you not at home, would you consider asking for social services to offer you some respite? You might find that easier to access than hospital, as unlesss there is a medical condition to keep you in there are only a few hospitals with a mother and baby unit for mental health.

Could you think about what help you need and find ways to access it from your gp or husband? Or work out what doesn't need to be done by you and leave those things so you focus on you and children? Easier meals, a few dvd's for children they enjoy to give you a bit of a rest??