God I really hoped I'd never be back on a thread like this - have namechanged but brief history - have had a history of mental health problems, like, forever, last serious breakdown being about two years ago - I lost my job, my mind, almost my family.. I picked myself up and have since got a fabulous job, things have improved and I thought everything was going well. Last week I got a final written warning from work (gross misconduct, won't go into it, but I felt it was very unfair as did everyone else, but no chance of it being recinded, so that's that) Basically, it has knoocked me for six and I am really feeling like I am at rock bottom again. my latest mad plan is to just get a flight somewhere - after sending a vicious e mail to my boss copying in, with details all the shit stuff that she has said about them, everyone important that I have kept quiet about, finding a special spot at the place I'm going to and committing suicide. I am so calmly plannin g this it is scary. I have three beautiful kids, who I feel I have let down so badly in the past and I can't keep letting them down. There just seems no way out.