Angry

[mistressploppy]

Looking back I think I had a bit of PND (DS is 7mo) but I feel much better now (less weeping etc)

The only things left are slight catatrophizing (ie if he won't sleep, it's the End Of The World) but I'm getting better and occasional angry outbursts, which are worrying me.

I get stupidly angry at silly things, almost always to do with the baby and I don't want to be an awful shouty mum. I have frightened poor ds on occasion by bellowing at the wall in pure frustration

It's such a change as I was always quite a calm person.

Where does this rage come from and how can I sort this out? Any advice gratefully received.

*catastrophizing

i felt a bit like this after DS was born. Turns out I had PND and PTSD - the birth was a nightmare (worse actually) and DS had Group B STrep.

Is there anyone you could talk to professionally that could help you or give you coping strategies? I think have a chat with your HV or Doctor.

sorry we are BBQing and I have to go, but will be back later.

Do you think you may still be slightly depressed? Sometimes this can come out as high anxiety rather than getting tearful.

I think you might be right, Jaffa, I just don't want to admit it!

It's so silly, ds is such an easy baby (from what I can gather, listening to other people talk about theirs) and the birth was a piece of cake too - 45mins in labour! He was a month early though, I was actually at work (last day before mat leave) when my waters broke - he arrived shortly afterwards!

I just don't feel it's bad enough to trouble the doc

Please think about seeing someone.

Its sad for you and your baby to get angry like this. He will become confused about your emotions which might make him more unsettled which will get you more anxious.

There could be reasons for your anger attached to him being born early when you were still working which you havent come to terms with.
Your doctor or HV would be happy to see you and talk through how you are feeling.

Mistressploppy 45mins labours can be as bad as 48 hours ones - I don't know about yours but they can be overwhelming and extremely painful and leave you in shock. Also babies that come a month early often give us a bit of worry.

So don't compare and diminish your own experience If you feel honestly fine about the birth then good.

Sounds like the PND is still there. Irritability and anger can be a symptom. Well done shouting at the wall instead of ds.

Talk to hv (if useful) or doctor. Consider whether some counselling sessions would help you.

I completely understand where you're coming from, and my DS (18mo) was a difficult baby but is a very easy toddler, I am shocked at sometimes how I lose my temper (thankfully always manage to catch myself before I really shout)...I had a short labour too (not as short as yours!) and was definately in shock for at least a few months.

I'd find someone to just talk this stuff through, airing it might give you a lightbulb moment which allows you to then deal with the emotions you're experiencing. FWIW I've recently been told I probably have PND NOW, as opposed to when DS was a tiny baby so you shouldn't discount it

I found the same with my DD, I used to get angry at really little things where I used to be a fairly calm person. Looking back, I think I probably did have mild PND and just wasn't coping very well with the adjustment to parenthood. I also used to have a lot of feelings of guilt and not being a good enough mum.

I would definitely speak to the GP or HV, if only so that you can talk through some ways to deal with your feelings. Also, do you have a good support network? Would some time away from your DS help you to de-stress a little? I found that I felt better if I could get out to visit old friends and talk about anything other than babies for a while!

The thread has made me cry so there is definitely something there, will have a chat with dh and also a mate who is a gp