I feel so out of control when my kids are ill? Does anyone have this?

[Jic]

I've been depressed for quite some time now and had counselling for nearly two years and have only just gone onto Citalopram because my mood just wasn't lifting and it was having a serious effect on my life. Anyway I'm hoping that I'll start to feel better once they kick in and one of the things that I hope will ease is when my kids are ill (paticularly vomiting) I get so so stressed like I just want to run away and feel like I can't cope. I don't think I'm emetophobic as such because the actual sick doesn't bother me and I just get on with it when it happens, it's the anticipation I think which destroys me. I start to feel sick myself and just generally like I want to cry and as I said, run off and let someone else deal with it. I'm hoping this will ease? Anyone else identify with this? I think it's when my dd looks at me when she's just so uncomfortable I feel so so helpless and want to change it for her instaed of being as calm as I can and just get on with it. Sorry for the ramble....

Are you me?!

Dd has had norovirus as an 18month old and again 6months ago, just before she turned 4. Horrible, horrible, and although I don't consider myself emetephobic either, her being ill at all, but particularly with vomiting, makes me very anxious.

Anxiety is often felt as a sick kind of feeling, maybe this is what you are feeling even though it is not you yourself that is ill?

I don't know how old your children are but for me it has got better with time.

I also learnt to do Reiki (alternative healing type energy healing kinda thing) as I can do that on dd if she is ill, it seems to calm her and help her sleep, also calms me too. She only asks me to do it if she genuinely is poorly it seems. I appreciate that isn't suitable for everybody but I thought I would mention it

Jic,keep going with the citalopram - it is amazing for anxiety.

Nemofish - (OP sorry for the hijack) would be very interested to hear about Reiki?

Yes I feel horrible when my children are ill, it's something I cannot possibly control. I think it's normal though.

My ds2 was taken into hospital when he was 14 days old due to high temp. He had lumbar puncture and all sorts (all fine in the end). Throughout the whole thing I wanted to run away and not deal with it. I think it's a normal human reaction. You can overcome it and do what is best for you and your children.

Also when my ds cut a big hole in his chin, your first reaction is to run away, then you get a grip.

Honestly what you are feeling is common to most parents. It's natural to feel anxious when you have a child who is ill and you can't take that away.

Stop looking at this kind of anxiety as a symptom, it's natural.

Excessive anxiety about something that is unlikely to happen is a symptom.

Cripes , thought it was just me. I can not handle my kids being ill, I panic and think it is meningitis and they will die. I was on Citalopram for this, but have since been changedto Sertraline, I am also awaiting therapy. It is spoiling my life and also my ability to love my kids, I am so frightened of them being ill. It is almost the fear itself that I dread.

Forgot to say, mine was triggered by my son choking at 6 days old, and it is him I worry about, not my daughter, so must be the connection.

My 11 month old child got ill recently and was vomiting after every meal. He's still not quite himself and not really taking solid food. He lost weight, just wants milk, etc.
There's so much to write in the way of how bad I feel. Anxiety is nearly almost there but yes, when he's ill, it just hits the roof.
I, like the others on this thread, have the urge to run away and let someone else (dad, etc) deal with it. This urge is accompanied by tremendous guilt and a feeling of uselessness. Then it is followed by thoughts of whether I should jump off somewhere high, given I am a useless mother and there is nowhere else to run away to. I love him so much but when I look at these thoughts it sounds as if I do not love him and it makes me feel worse. I repeatedly think how easily I would give my life for him; although living for him is ironically more difficult.
I blame myself for anything that goes wrong. The house is not too clean (no matter how much you clean, it gets dusty again) so maybe he got ill because I haven't cleaned the floors properly? When he doesn't eat, maybe it is because I haven't offered him the right things? Maybe I didn't cook it nicely? I so much wanted to have a baby and I know I am so lucky to have him but life has just turned s**t, with every minute full of tasks. I'd do those tasks if I felt at the end of it I've done a good job but it is so awful when you spend every minute toiling and then it doesn't seem to work.