Worring about telling the Doctors everything because of the DC, My Experience

[memoo]

I have seen lot of posts in this section where people worry about the implications of being totally honest with their Doctors about their thoughts and feelings.

I'n not claiming to be any kind of authority on this but I thought my experince might help people.

I told the Doctor, the psychiatrist and the rest of the mental health team that I saw absoutly everything.

I told them about my obssession with stabbing myself or burning myself. The constant thoughts about self harming and The overwhelming urges I had to kill myself

They know that I have begged DH to kill me because I didn't want to be here.

I told them about the confused episodes when I forgot she was my baby or when I hid her because I was convinced they were going to come and take me away.

God, I even phoned the crisis team one night and scream and cried down the phone to them that if they didn't come and get me right away I was going to kill myself.

I could go on and on but you get the picture.

In all this time nobody said I was a bad mum. I haven't had social workers banging on my door trying to take the kids. Infact nobody has any concerns about my children at all.

I told the truth and what happened was I got help, lots of it! I saw the right doctors and finally got put on the right meds. There is a team of mental health specialist who I am seeing weekly now and although I have a looooong way to go I am getting better, slowly, but I'm getting there.

I really hope this doesn't sound like I'm preaching. I just know how scary it is and there is a real fear that they are going to come and take your kids away.

I just want people to be able to go and seek the treatment that they need without fear of the repucussions. I hate the idea of somebody suffering in silence because they are scared of being 100% honest.

Please don't suffer, there really are people out there that can help you xx

I'm glad you posted this memoo.

Firstly I'm glad you are doing better.

Secondly, I've seen too many people suffer in silence for fear of losing their kids. A mental illness is just that, an illness, and can be treated.

memoo - glad you have been able to get the right help and I hope your post helps others going through tough times with their mental health too.

this was my experience too memoo I was hospitalised and was a total mess, but never any mention of DD being taken.

I wholeheartedly agree that people should be totally honest, and get the help they need.

Staying silent, or lying about your symptoms only arouses suspicion IME.

Glad to hear you are on the road to recovery, well done.

What a great post memoo, both because you are feeling better and because of how thoughtful it is for you to want to help others in this way.

Im so glad things moving in right direction for you memoo x

memoo, that's so wonderful.

You are needed here

The last we heard from this OP she was cutting herself, so I'm very worried about where she is now.

I am so very pleased for you - well done you xxxxx

memoo

is that true in 100% of all cases?

And feelings of self harm are not the same as doing it so there could be differences no?

wasn't debating!

i was asking!

Thanks for all the messages

BrokenDoll, As cpanda said I am just giving my experience but I have really been thinking about your question and I honestly think from my experience that even if I had self harmed I still wouldn't have been treated any differently.

Self harm is a symptom of a mental illness and having a mental illness doesn't make you a bad mum.

I guess some people may think of self harming as a violent act but it is an act of desperation, of trying to get some release, and it doesn't mean that you are then going to hurt your children.

Are you ok BrokenDoll? Do you need to talk?

I am so glad you posted this memoo and even more glad you were offered the help you so rightly deserve.

It is true you shouldn't suffer in silence.

I totally back up what memoo and GetDown say.
I've worked in family law for a few years and seen a lot of child protection cases.I never saws a case where the mother's depression was the issue; most cases around neglect/abuse and violence in the home. Mother's depression may have a role where combined with other factors such as serious substance abuse e.g. chaotic heroin use but EVEN THEN so long as mother is attempting to address the issues and work with people then it is really hard for children to be 'removed'.
I'm sure someone will come on now and tell me I'm wrong but that's what I've seen as a solicitor!
Even if Social Services do want to remove children they would have to go through the Court which takes months/years and solicitors would get involved. Mother would get intensive therapeutic input and daily support if necessary.
Most of my clients had depression of some kind (not just the child protection ones, the divorce and other cases too) to varying degrees with a fair few who had made suicide attempts and social services not even mentioned.
Also if parents try to use it against each other in private law cases (i.e. residence and contact - used to be called 'custody' and 'access') even then it is usually unsuccessful.

Just wanted to add, my friend has a history of self harm/bulimia and has had help and no threats to take her daughter away. So I don't believe it makes a difference.

Well I have the other side of the coin. I wish I'd never opened my mouth. Becasue I was severly let down. Be very very careful 'what' you say; how you phrase it. And assess who it is you are talking to before you say anything.

"social services not even mentioned"
arcadia, well that is not true for me. and I wasn't even depressed.

Thank you for posting this. I am in the middle of a dark hole at the moment. I think about suicide all the time. I have suffered depression before and seem to just go up, dowwn, up down.

This time feels like the worst. I am terrified of losing my son, losing my job (i've just been signed off). I am most terrified that the urge to suicide will over come me.

Lets not turn this into the hugely emotive thread that I started some time ago and that is still around somewhere. Let's just celebrate Memoo's achievement and take some courage.

Sorry

Roslily that was not aimed at you - I started a thread months ago about the fear of telling people how you feel and having your kids taken away and it became very emotive as some people have had very painful experiences.

Glad you felt able to post about how you feel. Do you want to start a thread about how you're doing so we can show you some support? It sounds like things are tough.

And Oblomov this is not an attempt to censor you - I have no rights anyhow. If there is debate left in this maybe we should carry on on the other thread and keep it 'contained'?