I need some perspective

[willsurvivethis]

And AIBU would kill me.

If I have a bad day. And dh knows this. And he has a good day. And I've struggled through a church event this morning. And I still need to do the Tesco shop. And ds is tired and peacefully and happily playing on the floor.

And I ask dh if he will come down and sit on the sofa to watch ds so I can quickly go to Tesco on my own.

And he doesn't - too busy on the computer (not work)

Is it weird that it makes me cry and feel all on my own dealing with this huge thing I'm going through?

Just that the abuse taught me that only other people's needs matter. And now I'm trying to learn what my own are. But all I'm doing is trying to decide that I'm wrong because i can cope with that.

Sorry this is probably long and messy. Help.

oh willsurvive I am so so sorry you are feeling like this.

It is not wrong to feel the way you are feeling. Does your DH know the extent of what you are going through right now, is he being insensitive?

It wouldn't be too much to ask to come and watch DS for a bit... and anyway it's not like you are going out to get your nails done or something, you are going to get food for HIM to eat!!

So, no, it's not weird that it makes you cry. It would me too. I think you need to sit down with him and tell him that everything is getting to you and you need him to help you.

Wish there was something I could do. x

I don't know how much he knows or understands. it is hard to talk to him because he so often struggles himself. I know he gets down when he thinks he's not supporting me enough. Then beats himself up over it getting even more depressed.

So then it's easier to just talk to my friends.

Update - got my perspective

DH came down to talk about it. I had not been clear enough what I needed.

And I had not given him enough time to process what I needed him to do. He has Asperger traits and can find sudden changes in plan particularly when he's mentally already tired hard and he needed literally a minute to process my request.

He's sorry he did not support me more.

I feel a bit happier now. It was good to both tell the other what happened for us.

Thanks Getdown, you'r always there with a wise word.

well done willsurvive sounds like you handled it very well.

so glad you got it sorted x