PND? PMT? Bi Polar? Depressed? pls help

[Molehillnotmountain]

Hi

I hope someone can help. Since the age of about 9 I have self harmed, I had bullying problems at school and it was a cry for help plus trying to show the rage I felt inside.

Since my teens I have been put on various different anti depressants. I am currently on 40mg of Citalopram a day. This is for depression and ocd/anxiety.

I am not sure I am depressed though.

It's hard to explain but basically when I was pregnant I felt a lot more 'stable' but when I have my normal periods I am like a different person every 4 weeks. So one week i'm aggressive, angry etc, another I'm a quivering wreck who can't get out of bed and thinks that everyone hates me / im a crap mum / wants to kill herself. It reads like normal pms but it seems very extreme. Eg if my brother said something to me during this time that would normally slightly upset me, if i was in one of the angry times I'd cheerfully tell him to drop dead and cut him out of my life forever, even though I love him dearly. I get so angry I'm nearly foaming at the mouth. If this is 'normal'# pts what on earth can I do?

I've been diagnosed with pnd since birth of dd 4 months ago (had it after first dd too) but i'm on ADs already and my mood swings are still shocking. Sometimes i'm manic like a mad puppy and other times i can't get out of bed, I refused to get out of bed last week and look after our dd, who i love to pieces, and made dp take the day off work to have her, i just couldn't face leaving the bed.

I haven't read up on bi polar because I don't want to scare myself but could it be that or would that have been diagnosed by now?

My old boss actually asked me if something had happened once because i was so different one day to the next. I'm very miserable and scared and wondered if anyone hd any suggestions?

Thank you

I'm not an expert at all, I have had PND, I do get PMT, it sounds like it is extreme PMT, I once took the combined pill and it made me behaved exactly as you descibe in your post tbh I only took it for 5 days before I realised how badly it had affected me.

Have you asked your doctor if there is anything you could try for pms?

From my experience of PND it was all very low, didn't want to get dressed, go out, everything felt dirty (I developed a kind of OCD in that I wanted to clean everything but it felt like it was never ending because I never had enough energy or time to get it to the standard required, looking back it was fine, actually quite clean and tidy), I was tired and felt very lonely even when I was with people.

Deep down you know your own mind and body and when something isn't right.

What age did you start your periods? Was it when you were 9 when you started self harming?

The self harm could have been seperate and due to the bulling perhaps? Do you still self harm? Or ever get the urge to? (i've never done it so my comments my not be helpful sorry)

Could be hormone related? How old are you, could you be perimenopausal do you think?

Hi, was just off scaring myself to death looking up bipolar and then borderline personality disorder!

I'm 35. I think I was 9/10 when periods started. Self harm has continued all along, haven't done it for about a year and a half but have been tempted to.

I feel a bit too 'up' at times for it to be pnd/depression solely. I talk lots and run around doing stuff, taking stuff on, like if you were on speed or high i suppose.

You'd be best to ask to be refered to mental health team, prob best way to get assistance (if not doing so already). Try not to read up or stress out too much about labels/being diagnosed. I know at least 2 people who have been 'diagnosed' at some point as bipolar and now are pretty stable with no medication, so diagnosis can be a bit hasty at times and not necessarily helpful.

It could still be hormoanal even with up's, if they coincide with the right time of the month. A lot of women talk alot and run around doing stuff and taking thing's on otherwise nothing would ever get done
Have you tried keeping a diary so you can see how up and down you are and if it follows a pattern? even if it doesn't say words just a smiley or sad face would give yu an indication.

I think you need to see your GP again and consider asking him how you would go about finding out if you have bi-polar because if you haven't then at least you can rule it out and if you have then you can get some treatment hopefully.

Well done for not SH-ing for a long time that's very positive.

Thank you both, to be honest I just read some posts on here from someone with bipolar and the 'manic' that they talk about does not fit with my 'manic' iyswim. Their's seems much more extreme.

I'm going to try b vitamins and magnisium which i think are both supposed to help with pms and also keep the diary.

I'm a bit scared to go to the doctor again because last time when i got an appointment at our nhs hospital it was horrible, really scary and I felt somehow 'in the system' if that makes sense. Will check my insurance i get through work see if i could go private maybe?

primrose oil might help too.

What contraceptive are you on, although if this is an ongoing thing it might not be that, just saying because my experience was very scary!

no contraceptive at moment im on clexane due to blood clot when pregnant so don't think i'll be allowed anything with hormones in.

Think I'll raid holland & barratt tomorrow x

Have a look on www.PMS.org.uk
They have a forum and there are lots of women on there with similar cycles of moods to yours x

It sounds like PMDD, for which I have just been diagnosed (like, last week!).

Like you, I tear my hair out, scream at dd and weep uncontrollably for 3-4 days, then back to 'normal' when my period starts, like a switch is flicked.

I've been put on 10mg (!) of Citalopram a day for the week before my period. I've taken my 4th one today, so gawd knows if it'll kick in in time for this month (expecting meltdown to start this weekend!). If I were you, make an appointment to see your doctor in a month or two, and keep a diary of your moods. This really helped me, beacuse I knew if I saw my doc on a good day I'd just go 'oh, don't know why I made the appointment, it's not that bad'. but I'd written a list of all my feeling on my worst day (something clicked last month where i thought, 'this isn't right') and showed it to her. She diagnosed me straight away, thank God!

I read somewhere that it usually occurs where women have suffered from depression or PND, but this isn't the case with me, it's come from nowhere.

Meant to say, I also take starflower oil (same active ingredient as EPO - GLA - but more of it, get the highest GLA% you can) every day, and Vitamin B supplements (as I'm like the walking dead half the time). I've also really cut down on caffeine - none after midday - as I drink far too much tea, and I read somewhere this can help. I'm restricting what time of the month I drink alcohol as well - just after my period is OK.

Flippin nightmare! I've always suffered from painful periods (literally since my first one), but this is all just an added joy. I've explained it all to my bosses, as I'm well aware my performance at work has dropped in the last 6-12 monthsm, and I just wanted them to know I was taking it seriously. I feel so much better just for acknowledging tbh.

Sorry I'm waffling on, I came on to the mental health forum to start a new thread about this and asking for advice (I may yet do that), and I found this!