Are these panic attacks ?

[thinker]

I suffer from health anxiety, and one of my "things" is if my 10 month old son is ill. He choked when he was 6 days old and \I have been odd about him since. I have extrem irrational thoughts regarding meningitis, (even typing the word give me butterflies) Anyway, he is teething at the moment and is clingy and unsettled. This evening, he had a real cry, was in distress for a few minutes, but soon calmed down after a cuddle and walk round.The thing is that when he cries like this, I experience pure sheer terror. My heart is in my mouth, I am terrified that he is seriously ill and have a melt down. I feel so anxious that I wish I was not here or was someone else, I just can`t bare this feeling. Then tears of dispair and then after an hour I relax and calm down. All because son cried for about 3 minutes because obviuosly teething. Do you reckon this is a panic attack even though I do not have palpitations or hyperventilate ?? I have this reaction every time my kids are ill with normal childhood things like D and V or virus.

Anyone? bump.

I think they could be - I think panic attacks are different for everyone and can be different types too. I sometimes get the sheer panic and crying thing, but tend to get blurry vision/lightheadedness as my main symptoms. I try to distract myself, flick an elastic band on my wrist to focus on something else, sniff lavendar oil or a peppermint diffuser just to calm the physical symptoms so I can talk myself down and rationalize the panic and thoughts.

i don`t get any physical symptoms, I almost wish I did. I just crap myself in a huge way (not literally)

thinker, not sure if I should promote other sites here but NoMorePanic is a great site for advice on what you are talking about

I would second what scurry says - really good forums as well to ask for advice. I don't think it matters what the definition is, as such, as you're cleary worried and panicked at these times so it is probably a panic/anxiety issue.

Thank you Scurryfunge xx

I want it to be a panic attack in a perverse way so that I can think when it happens " i am having one of my panic attacks" instead of "my baby is going to die" hope that makes sense. If I had physical symptoms it would make it less real and more of a physical reaction I could focus on reducing.

Yeah I think I know what you mean - when I started getting panic attacks I used to think 'oh my god what's happening to me', whereas now I think, 'ok, it's a panic attack', so it is sort of the same thing. Just tell yourself 'ok, I'm just having a panicky moment and DS/DD is just ill and upset, I'll see how s/he feels in an hour or I'll ring my mum/friend to see what they think'. I don't know if that makes sense, but maybe recognising that you have these thoughts, 'like you did last time', might calm you down a bit. I think irrational/obsessive thoughts are symptoms of panic attacks anyway.

Sadly, one of my things is also "wait and see what happens" or see how is in an hour " or " if it gets any worse bring him back" I cant handle that very well either. I am really fucked up. I would have a lobotomy to remove it if I could. Drives me mad, its like tooth ache, I just want it to go away. I even feel anxious if kids are well cos I know they will be ill in the future and i will panic. I am frightened of the the fear itself I cant have a glass of wine to knock the edge off because i am pregnant with 3rd. i even worry because I don`t worry about my oldest and its not fair h a haaaaaaaa fuckin ridiculous I know. I am being very honest by the way.

Sorry about self indulgence, I am very grateful for your answers xx

Not self indulgence at all . Have you been to your GP at all about how you are feeling?

Yes, have been treated for a few years with CBT, seroxat, citalopram and now sitiralene I have tried hypnotherapy too. I have been seen recently by a psychiatrist attached to ante natal dept and she is referring me to some department but waiting for appointment. I think it gets worse when preg, but by time docs get their act together I have given birth and anxiety eases a little back to normal anxiety. Its so crap, I just want it to go away but dont know what to do. I am considering seeing a psychiatrist privately as a last resort. I look at my freinds who are mums and am envious of their normal appropriate reactions when their kids are unwell. They will put their hands on kids forehead and casually say," bit hot ? " and calmly give them calpol, I am sticking thermometer in ear and anxiously swallowing and administering calpol in an emergencey type manner checking for rashes, cold hands and feet, stiff neck blotchyness drowsyness ................. I am a loon!

You are not a loon....I went private, got seen the following week. About to start EMDR so hopefully that will help. There are so many therapies, drugs, et....it is just a question of finding out which one suits

I had hypnoval intravenously in the past, once at the dentist and once when having placenta removed following a traumatic loss at 22 weeks, the anaesthetist was great and gave it to me whilst I had a spinal to help out. Whilst I had that stuff in my system I felt really really amazing, so brave and fearless and the anxiety was just absent, it was amazing, I could do with a shot of that every day but realise is not going to happen. I think I want a magic answer like that rather than therapy. Therapy is great for reducing the day to day anxiety, but nothing seems to help these intense moments when kids / son is ill, its like a tidal wave and all therapy techniques are forgotten. a shot of hypnoval would be EXTREMELY welcome but never gonna get one.

I know.lol

I remember morphine after an op....brilliant stuff....could conquer the world!

I have to go to bed now, so if anyone answers and I seem to ignore, I will be back in the morning and very grateful for your input xxx

How horrid for you thinker.

I don't, in fact, think it is a panic attack - I believe there's a specific symptom set for pa's (palpitations/hyperventilation/throat tightening). But it's deffo a similar involuntary reaction to a recurring set of triggers - something which isn't proportionate or logical (if that helps you, conversely, to control it).

If CBT hasn't worked I'd try psychotherapy (as opposed to short-term counselling).

perversely not conversely. Time for me to go to bed, to be sure.

Psychotherapy? What is that ? I have heard of it, but don`t knoww hat it means exactly.

It's long-form talking therapy, various types but tries to get to the root of where a feeling or behaviour comes from and 'talk it out'. Doesn't attempt to fix problem in six weeks, I reckon minimum of a year. Psychoanalytic psychotherapy is the 'trad' version and the one I'd recommend but there are lots of others.

Huge generalisation alert: CBT tries to work on the problem in isolation whereas psychotherapy considers the whole, iyswim. Both can be good but if CBT not worked I'd try the other.

Thinker, I have posted on these boards recently about anxiety I can totally relate to how you are feeling. Every time one of the DCs looks pale or don't want a drink/food I think that they are coming down with something. Every time we go out I worry that someone will come into contact with them and give them a bug. It is awful and all consuming, so big to you as I know how you feel.

I too, long to be one of those calm mothers that just go, "Oh, DD was ill last night, but fine today!" and just get on with it, where as I just panic and lay awake all night waiting for everyone else to get it too. And I understand the bit about just waiting for them to get ill. You know it's going to happen, it's just when! The odd thing is, when they are ill we get through it fine - apart from my dramatics! - but the waiting for it is worse and is ruining time when we should be out enjoying ourselves.

Sorry, I have no real advice, but I wanted you to know you are not alone. My GP was less than useless and am now going to see another one to get a second opinion. I hope you find something that helps soon. x

Oh LADYEM Im sorry you too are going through this hell but selfishly glad I am not alone. I relate to the catching things off other people, in Doctors waiting room I sit by myself on a chair in the corridor, and in shops when people walk past and do a huge fleghmy cough over my kids I want to punch them.
I work away at weekends and used to stay in a hotel friday and saturday night to ease the driving and get some rest. Two weekends in a row, my kids were ill and I had to keep phoning my poor husband for updates, it killed me. Last weekend rather than stay in a hotel I got up at 6 and drove to London (4 hours)worked all day until midnight then attempted to drive home. I ended up sleeping in the car in a lay bye because I was too tired to carry on. How ridiculous, just becuase i was worried about son who wasnt even ill. Talk about it affecting your behavoir. When he was new born daughter got D and V and also impetigo, I did not come downstairs or have any contact with husband and daughter for 3 days, really sad. I also hate it when they are babies and strangers come and touch them in the pram FUCK OFF. Dont infect my precious baby !!!! Really mental.

I know! What is it with old ladies who come up and feel that they can just touch your baby?!!! Get off him!!!!!

We all got D&V last november, was awful, but it still seems to be going round even now, so I'm paranoid that we will all get it again! I know we will at some point, but it is the waiting that is the worst!! If only I could see the illness schedule before hand, then I would know when to expect it!!!

I hope that your DS is having a better day with his teeth. My DS has his first one just poking though

Any time you need to chat, I'm here!! We can worry together!!!