I want to stop going to therapy

[FabIsGoingToGetFit]

it just isn't helping.

what makes you feel it is not helping?

what type of therapy is it?

do you need a different therapist? or just a break?

I don't feel it has helped at all.

It is a psychiatrist I am seeing.

I don't want to see another person. I always felt that this was my last chance to get well/better as I have counselling before.

Hmm do psychiatrists really make the best therapists though?

And what will you do instead? Just decide you're going to be like this?

Don't know your situation, so apols if advice is wide of the mark but think Stopping going might be kind of self defeating - going and saying that its not helping is probably more constructive - or thinking if there is anything you do that is stopping it from helping - like not helping to set the agenda, or not being honest about your feelings, or not thinking about the therapy in between sessions. Also, I notice that the 'last chance' idea is very black and white. You deserve a hundred chances if it can give you a better life in the end. I definitely agree that you shouldn't keep doing something that is not helpful - its a waste of your time - but am just wondering if you can see any recurring patterns here (all or nothing thinking, having a honeymoon period with trying to do things differently, then feeling hopeless - these are prob wide of the mark, but you might be able to spot your own) and really concentrate on trying to do something differently than before (because the old patterns haven't worked for you). Also working in therapy is really hard - it might be preferable/easier/more rewarding short term to give up - what's in it for you to keep trying or not keep trying? All the best to you

IME psychiatrists are there to medicate and try to mitigate your symptoms, not to help you address the root causes of (non-chemical) mental unwellness.

Can you not try to get some Cognitive Behavioural Therapy as well as seeing your pysch?

Also, it's not uncommon to really hate your first few sessions of therapy and to feel like it's making things worse - but if you can persevere it will be worth it I promise.

Good luck - so sorry you're feeling low about this (and other stuff).

From what I know psychiatrists don't tend to do therapy, but diagnosis and medication and monitoring. but they do work as part of a multidisciplinary team - so could you ask your psychiatrist to refer you to a member of the team that could help you, that is maybe a psychologist or a cpn trained in techqniques that could help you?

It's a rare psychiatrist that does therapy. It's worth seeing a psychologist or someone trained. It's as much about finding the right person for you as the therapy itself seriously.

I am so mixed up.

talked with DH this morning but there was an elephant in the room as i was scared to tell him some stuff but that in itself isn't a problem as if i had told him he would leave me.

i have been saying for a few weeks to her hat i find it really hard to go and think what to say.

she sits there in silence and waits for me to speak

Having a good therapeutic relationship with someone is a huge part of the therapeutic process and it wouldn't be unreasonable of you to say, this isn't working for me, and find someone else.

Fab, any chance you could take a break? This week I put my sessions on hold for a month, luckily she'll still keep me on her casebook as I said to her I'm not sure how much its helping and DH is soooo unsupportive about my going. Agree with some of the others, it is worth changing to a different therapist? I appreciate that it's not easy to do but you really shouldn't have to sit there with her waiting for you to talk. Could you ring the clinic and talk to her supervisor and ask to be reviewed by the supervisor and allocated a different therapist? It wouldn't be an unreasonable request and you won't be the first person to have asked to switch.

cpanda, not geeky at all, just sensible imo. I take notes in with me too but have found that just by having written the stuff down it helps me remember and in the session I've never actually looked at them. However I do have to write down what it is she's asked me to reflect on as by the time I'm home I struggle to recall wtf I'm meant to be doing

I went today and started as usual by saying I didn't want to go and then it all came out.

She is a psycho-therapist not a psychologist.

I feel better today as I know what I really want and I also have a plan for what to do if I find myself going off the rails.

Right now I am just pissed off I can't get the Wii to work as I really want to do my exercises but I have to put a dvd on instead and do that.

Just had some huge news are really proud of myself as I haven't fallen apart about it and haven't done the self-destruct stuff I normally do.

I really appreciate all your support, thank you.

Glad you're feeling a bit better fab. Do you know what qualifications she has?

Just out of interest like.

No idea tbh.

a psychotherapist sounds good sorry I thought it was a psychiatrist you were seein and. Most psychiatrists work under a code of ethics, mine has a MA in counselling,and trained for 4yrs and took exams to be chartered in TA therapy.

Glad you feeling bit better fab - hope dvd helped.

Fab - sounds like you've done yourself proud today. Take care.

Thanks

Bit worried how antsy I got when I thought I couldn't do my exercise. I never thought I would get so in to exercising.

Fab I hesitate to say this as clearly therapy works for lots of people, and I'm sure it's possible to go through tough times in it but come out the ohther end stornger and wiser. But it's never worked for me. it makes me feel so low and dirty and cruel - dredging up blame or sadness which has past and there's sod-all you can do about it. Some people need to analyse to get to the root of their problems, but if you don't, you don't. For me, taking a pill focusing on now and the future feels so much healthier and more productive that pulling out navel fluff about a past you can't change.

Up to you, but if it doesn't work, don't feel bad about ditching it for good.

Thanks for your input but tbh it doesn't help.

FWIW, I see a psychotherapist and find it exceptionally helpful. But I have a very clear goal - to understand why I stayed with my abusive ex and not to make the same mistake again. That for me is the framework and my therapist and I have agreed on that.

I know what you mean about the sitting in silence bit. I struggled with this but would tell him it made me really uncomfortable and that I wanted him to ask me questions. So he did.

Then one day he asked 'is it because you think I'm judging you?' and immediately I said 'no, I'm scared you'll be angry and violent with me'. Breakthrough moment and it's gone from stregth to strength since then. You need strong rapport to trust your therapist, but the process can be very hard and uncomfortable work. It's definitely worth it though.

I do trust my psycho-therapist which is really weird for me. I have had counselling before, 1 was a man and gave me the creeps ad one was a lady who I didn't think got me.

I can talk openly with her more than I do with anyone but I am still how it will help me.