is this depression or is this normal?

[MarthaQuest]

I'd be grateful for any perspective on this.

A few months ago, my GP has offered to prescribe me fluoroxetine after I asked for some advice (I'd been screaming at ds and ashamed. but haven't started taking it yet.I have 15 months old dd, and 8 year old ds

I'm frequently very low, especially at routines, when my daily routine changes-I feel very unsettled if there is nothing planned for the day.

It's often as if I can't bear to be around anyone, I find ds's constant questionning very irritating and am struggling to hide this.

I often take these feelings out on DH, by being cold and sulking.

I just feel as if I need to be on my own, and I feel angry that this can't happen.

I feel paranoid that other family members are gossiping about me.

BUT I am SAHM, kids are hard work, most of the time I'm a good mum, DH is frequently annoying at his own admission , my family members are proven gossips; is this just life?

Would anti depressants help?

I'm worried about the side effects.

I mean, i feel low at WEEKENDS not routines

can't type

anyone?

Take the tablets. If you don't start to feel better you can come back of them. I think the one you have is more of a mood enhancer, I'm on citalopram with is similar, and I was terrified of starting it but I'm so glad i did. I've had minimum side effects, the worse one was tirdness but I changed from taking it in the morning to tea time.

Good luck

Sorry was a bit occupied with myself last night!!

I wouldn't immediately say depression from your description, more the tough job of a SAHM from the sound of it without much support and you time!

You have a lot of perspective on things, saying kids are hard work and dh annoying which sounds healthy.

You may benefit from keeping your routine going in the weekend, particularly bedtime and getting up. Do you drink more alcohol in the weekend than in the week? That may warrant an experiment too.

Try getting out on your own for a while or kicking everything elese out while you stay home (and don't do chores!!) so you get some you-time.

I feel so sad that there are so many posts on this board about people thinking they shouldn't be taking anti-depressants. I went on trazodone last year for depression and anxiety. I had tried citalopram for a couple of weeks but it wasn't the pill for me.
I was very much like you, 2 children and thought I wasn't coping very well. I had constant anxiety and each day seemed very hard to get through.
Tbh, I either felt very worried and depressed, or I went through long stretches of not really feeling anything. The pills helped that. 6 months later, I am off them, no side effects, and I am actually enjoying my life rather than just getting through it.
I am one who really thought a pill wouldn't make that much of a difference. It did, and they helped me cope at a time of my life I was finding extremely difficult. You have nothing to lose, and potentially a lot to gain, from giving them a try

I think it depends on what is causing your unhappiness. Do you think there is anything in your life that can be changed to make you feel better?

Can you organise time for you to be on your own? eg. saturdays when your dh is home - and then plan something for yourself to do, away from everyone else?

Can you get your children into childcare for a couple of mornings during the week to give yourself a break?

Of course in some circumstances anti depressants are necessary but if your life can be improved without needing to take medication, then I think that is preferable.

Thank you so much for all your replies.

I think what's worrying me is that I get tearful very easily, which is new for me, and that relationships with both my sisters have been very strained for a while.We used to be close.

I've been feeling very threatened that they both work and look after young families, whilst I feel I'm struggling as a SAHM. I feel that my status in the family has gone down, and that is making me anxious and paranoid.

I'm an early years professional and I feel that because of that, I'm expected to cope very well, and any perceived short comings, i.e my son has mild SN, and my baby is a very messy feeder are held up for criticism.

I think I'm going to try the fluoxetine, I had a very sleepless night last night- something has got to change.

I don't drink at all -ha, maybe I should

Finances are very strained so no chance of any childcare-god I'm dreading the summer holidays.

Have you been tested for an underactive thyroid? I felt shit when mine went funny.

My friend is on fluxetine and has had no problems.

To my mind, ADs will only work if you have chemical depression. Therefore, take them, if you feel better, you were depressed, if you don't, it is probably something in your life.

Often there is a mix of both, and by taking the pills you can start to deal with the life bits.

Good luck

xx

i concur with everything! i could have written your post pre-fluoxetine; especially the thing about weekends being extra low. weird. anyway, i take them, 20mg a day and i feel drastically better - it's only now that i've become a 'glass half full' person that i can see how much of a struggle it all was before.

please bear in mind that they take about 4 weeks to be fully effective so don't give up if you don't notice an immediate benefit.

That sudden realisation that the world has been in black and white for ages, and you suddenly have colours again.

It doesn't make all the problems go away, but it makes them dealable.