Not sure if the right words will come but ... (rather complex)

[florencerusty]

In the past I have suffered depression and been on prozac. The marriage I was in ended and life changed dramatically. I had been a very young mum and had finally started a life where I was a person. I met and married the most amazing man - 4 grown children between us and I got pregnant. At full term our son was born sleeping. Utter devestation of course. Desperation for another baby overtook my life. 17 Months later our dd arrived. Lifes good

I also suffer from an IBD and this coupled with many other things started causing panic attacks. I was prescribed setraline.

Ran out of pills friday - I know I am hopeless. And thats the feeling of today - just hopeless.

I cant stop crying My darling husband feels a million miles away (daily life is hectic and we seem to never have time to be mr & mrs anymore.

Our dd is beyond precious and I love being mummy again but I feel so guilty about wanting to be mrs again or even just K*
I have barely been apart from her in 20 months, and I mean not even to the bathroom on my own.

Just need help I suppose, I am feeling so lonely and the tears wont stop

it is normal to want to be more than a mum and nothing to do to with how much you love your dd.

it is incredibly to have a child born sleeping - and it feels like somehow (and quite logically so) it has tied into you needing to be everything and everyone to your dd. Like you didn't deserve to have another dc and now you do you have to total sacrifice yourself?

Of course you need to seek some help and talk about how you are feeling to someone you can trust. We all need it sometimes. I also wonder if it would be good for you to have some time on your own. Can you put dd in nursery, even for two mornings a week?

Have you been to your Dr regarding running out of AD's, just stopping them like that is bound to send you spiraling down. Try and egt back on them ASAP.

You need to get back on the sertraline. As topsi says, stopping the dose like that will lead to a crash.

What you've been through is so terribly, terribly sad. It's no wonder you've got low about everything. Wonderful that you have a lovely DH now. Cling on to that, and your new DD of course.

You will beat this, you just need a little help right now. Go to your GP.