Help please - how long do meds take to work for you?

[kizzie]

Hi Ive been back up a therapeutic dose of anafranil (clomipramine) for the last 10 weeks - 8 weeks back up to 75mg with is the max dose i have taken in the past. (Its a tricyclic)

I had already been on the drug since 2006 (75mg then 50mg then 25mg then 20mg and below for a year) and had been very well for the last3 years. (I cant take more than 75mg because it reduces my blood pressure too much).

I took 7 weeks off work and returned 2 weeks ago. I returned after a similar break from work in 2006 and managed ok. This time i have also reduced my hours and have taken a temporary downgrade to reduce my responsibility. But the depression and anxiety and still extreme and I am crying regularly through the day and feel quite desperate.

My psychiatrist has said that he would expect anafranil to work again (its the third time Ive been on it) and to stick with it for another few weeks - but am i just clutching at straws. If something hasnt worked after 8 weeks at therapeutic dose then is there little chance of improvement after this time?

I would really appreciate any thoughts - finding it very difficult to cope.
x

Managed to go to work today - which wasnt looking very likely last night with the state I was in.

Trying to stay as calm as possible till the appointment next week. A lot of the time Im like a scared rabbit - jumping at the slightest noise.

Thank you all for bring so caring. Im also trying to stay aways from 'shoulds'. I 'should be feeling more consistent by now after weeks on the medication' etc.
x

'should' is a word that they don't like you to use in CBT !

That's great that you made it into work are you pleased that you did?

Should has always been one of my least preferred words, could sounds and feels much better!

How are things today? x

Hi - thank you for asking.
Yesterday was a bit easier which gave me a bit of hope last night .
Today the anxiety is much stronger again - but I know its never a straight line ....

Less than a week now till appointment.

Thanks so much for thinking of me x

It's very up and down isn't it, hopefully anxiety will trail off in the downward direction today! So pleased to hear yesterday was a better day, fingers crossed that will be built upon as things continue to improve - or at least not worsen horribly. x

thank you - yes 'worsen horribly' is something i could definately do without x

Hi Kizzie,

Hope things keep improving for you. Just wanted to say I too have chemical depression - not brought on by circumstances at all as far as I can see. It just happens and it's crushing. But I've been working through that online Moodgym suggested by someone here. It's a form of self-help CBT. It doesn't stop the depression but it's been a great temporary relief to get through day to day and stop the paranoid thoughts from becoming overpowering. I still get them but a rational voice kicks in and reminds me they're because I'm unwell. They're not real. It's been a real help while I've waited for my appointment with the GP tomorrow (waited a week for an appointment !)
You can do it online and it's free. It may not be as good as a counsellor but it's great if you don't like sharing your private thoughts with strangers (not my idea of how to feel better quicker!) It certainly can't hurt.

Hi racing heart - thanks for that i will look at Mood Gym.

I hope your appointment goes well. Do you use medication to control your symptoms usually?

Just dropping in to say hi and hope you are ok today x

Hi Mitchy - ive managed to get to work this morning again. Was a bit late - but got here. There is still that horrible anxiety and negative thoughts underneath things but trying to breathe with 'this too will pass' thoughts.
Just really hoping that things will get back to normal soon (ish).
Hope you are ok too x

You're doing so well, hope you can remind yourself of that - do you/can you take regular breaks throughout the day or is it easier to push through?

Argh that sounds so patronising

doesnt sound patronising at all
I try and 'hide' at different points through the day to do breathing exercises

Today has been difficult. V low and anxious. Things had been a bit easier so dont why that is. I guess just because it is really and not much point wondering too much.
Only another few days now to appointment. Just seems to have been dragging on soo long this time ...

glad appointment is not far away now, sorry to hear you have had such a horrible day though

hope tomorrow is a little better x

Thanks Mitchy - I so appreciate your support. Its like having my own personal cheer leader .

Today difficult again unfortunately but just trying to stay as calm as possible.

deep breaths ...

thanks cpanda. Ive seen him before (and in 2006 when was last ill).

I know ive not got to build the appointment too much as there wont be a miracle solution on Tuesday.

Feel very sick with the anxiety today. And yesterday Pm I felt like I was grief stricken - as though the person I loved most in the world had just died. But of course there was nothing wrong. And today there's nothing 'wrong'. Its just 'there'.

None of it makes any sense to me.

Keep b on - I think will need to be my new moto. x

I do really try hard to overcome it - but for whatever reason that doesnt seem to be enough .

Thats why i sometimes wish that I had an actual issue to work on - as that would actually give me something to hang onto. (And i know that must sound so awful to those people who have had such dreadful experiences - I honestly dont mean to diminish what you have been through.)

This episode started on Jan 28th and I started upping the medication straight away. Its May now - and thats quite a long time really

Really struggling today. i dont want to take attention away from 'Get Down' because i know she needs all our support today but im just finding it all so difficult.

Ive had a look back in my diary and close to this point last time I dopped my dose from 75mg to 50mg which did seem to help. Im very nervous about doing that because obviously im no where near stable. But its clear this medication isnt working at this dose (and i cant take anymore of this one for medical reasons) so i guess if I reduce at least im moving in the direction to switch to something else if that doesnt work.

Im so sorry this has gone on so long and Im still going on about it. My family etc have really had enough of it - and I try so hard to hide it, but not very successfully

My counsellor just keeps saying 'you will get better - the chemicals have just got to rebalance correctly - and its going to take time'

Ive known her for the last 11 years (and she has seen me when Im well) and she very strongly believes that its a chemical problem rather than any other basis.