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Need some encouragement while I wait for AD's to kick in

21 replies

mdavza · 30/04/2010 12:15

Hi there, I have a history of depression and insomnia, and I have been on a low dose(37,5mg) daily of Velnafaxine (efexor) for the past 3 years. During pragnancy I got very depressed and went back on it after first trimenster and coped well. Also coped well with birth and first hectic few months. My psychiatrist said I could come off when I felt ready, as she thought I could cope without them. When lo was 8 months, November last year, I finally went off the meds after slowly cutting the dosage and felt fine. And then winter struck, and baby had colds, he stopped sleeping, and I have been having bad insomnia on and off since Feb. I've seen my doctors, acupuncturist, but in the end I had to face that I was depressed and needed to go back on my meds. It's been two weeks now and I'm already feeling better and less anxious and coping better. But every now and then I'll still have horrible insomnia. The night before last I woke at 3 (oh, and baby is now sleeping!) and could only doze off at around 4:50. And last night I was woken at 2am (baby has a cold again) but could not go back to sleep at all. Trying very hard to keep things in perspective today, but I could do with some encouragement. I feel like a failure for needing the meds, and I'm so anxious that it won't work, although the docs said the sleeping will be the last thing to get better, and I should take sleeping pills every now and then...anybody else gone through something like this? I feel soooo vulnerable at night especially.

OP posts:
cheesenonion · 30/04/2010 13:17

Waiting for mine to kick - in too, shall we wait together?

GentleOtter · 30/04/2010 13:19

Can I join you both? - day 2 of sertraline and I'm a bit scared.

cheesenonion · 30/04/2010 13:21

Pull up a chair GentleOtter. Are you scared they wont work? I have had them in my gloomy past and they did work but very subtley (spelling?)

GentleOtter · 30/04/2010 13:28

I feel as if I've drunk 15 cups of strong coffee and the world is going very fast. I'm drinking gallons of chamomile tea to calm down and don't like this feeling.

mdavza · 30/04/2010 15:44

Hi there, what a horrible illness! I feel for you both and hope you have support. These pills have worked v well for me in the past but I can't remember the insomnia being so bad after starting it..maybe just forgot because it is so sh**te! The AD definitely take time and at the start might even exacerbate [sic] the symptoms, hmmm maybe this is happening to me too. I might need to go on higher dose, sigh.

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tippytumbles · 30/04/2010 16:23

Hi can I wait with your too please? I was prescribed citalapram yesterday and am due to take my 2nd tablet at 5pm. I've also had terrible imsonmia and am doing nothing but cry. Just hoping and hoping they will do their magic real soon

GentleOtter · 30/04/2010 16:51

mdavza - You are not a failure for taking meds - liken it to someone with, say, heart disease or something and not taking meds for an angina attack. Just because mental illness cannot be seen and is difficult to describe (when you are not feeling well), it is sometimes weird being on meds...until you start to feel better.

I'm on a piddlingly tiny amount (25g) but am off my face now and not liking it. Feel tired but not sleepy, shakey, dry mouth, andwanttowritelikethis.

Share the love, sisters. We all understand what each of us is going through. x

BirdFromDaNorf · 30/04/2010 18:26

I just want to say hang in there people. I've done nearly a month now on citalapramamama (can't spell it for love nor £)

It does get better. I felt so disengaged, spacey and not right for two weeks, and it's starting to get better now. And I'm not "right" but I'm on the right track.

Hang in there and hang out together. Happy to see people being there for each other.

GentleOtter · 30/04/2010 20:25

How is everyone doing tonight?

tippytumbles · 30/04/2010 20:51

Well I am only on day 2 with the citalopram my heart is racing and I have a headache. Normally on a Friday night I would be well stuck into the wine by now but I just daren't drink booze tonight (feel like I have a hangover anyways) Thinking of going to bed.

tippytumbles · 30/04/2010 21:15

Thinking about the racing heart thing, not necessarily caused by the meds. I haven't eaten anything since Tuesday apart from half a sausage and a couple of chicken nuggets (DD's leftovers) but have drunk loads of coffee - possible caffein overload?

GentleOtter · 30/04/2010 22:02

Step away from the coffee! Tea also contains lots of caffeine.
I am drinking chamomile tea by the gallon.

Am like zombie right now, trying to pack dd's rucksack for guide camp- toddler keeps unpacking it.

Hope you sleep well.

mdavza · 01/05/2010 07:32

Hiall, gentle thank you for the kind words. I wish I could be as kind to myself as others. But working on it. I meditate and it helps with relaxation and being a bit nicer to self.
tippy. I would definitely stay away from coffee(caffeine) and alcohol. I hear what you say about eating, one of my sure signs that the twilight zone is descending is I lose weight, not a bad thing at all! But then it creeps back on eventually.
I'm def feeling better through the day, more clearheaded, and I convinced myself that in a few week's time when tge meds have kicked in, I'll be sleeping much better. My lo-he's 14 months- had a raging fever yesterday, I was in/ out of his room a few times in evening, went to sleep at 11ish, got woken by v ill baby at 1, we went back to sleep at 2ish and I actually managed fall asleep then and only woke now. So notbad, compared to previous night. Although now I seem to have chest infection, aaarrrgh.
Hope all have a good day. Oh, something that I now do every morning, first thing, is to say thanks for all the good things in my life. It helps with those gloomy early morning feelings

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tippytumbles · 01/05/2010 11:48

GentleOtter and mdavza thank you so much for the advice re caffeine - unfortunately I have already drank 2 mugs today before logging on and seeing your posts! Should not be too bad though because I had been drinking around 8 - 10 mugs per day .

Glad you managed some sleep mdavza , how I used to take it for granted! I didn't manage very much at all I'm afraid.

On pins today because DH is coming around at some point to see the DD's , not sure how he is going to be with me I have bookmarked some info for him to read in the hope he might understand how I am feeling. I'm not optimistic.

Hope everyone has a good day today - the sun is shining (around here anyways)

BirdFromDaNorf · 02/05/2010 21:53

Hello. I'm still going with the Citalopramama whatever it is. I don't neccessarily shout at DH as much as I used to, but instead, I am more sarcastic with him, which is a kind of improvement, I think.

Our difficult domestic situation is still the same, and will be for 18 more months, at least, so I need to cope and get on. But I want to be in a better place than this.

Does anyone know what I mean? I don't know I thought meds would make me better, happy, I don't know. I'm rambling. Sorry.

I've had a long day of working (am self employed, from home) , DH struggling to juggle our two DS's who have run him ragged and house is never going to bed tidy again, let alone clean.

I don't know if there's a point to this. Sometimes, I just want to feel that it's not just me, you know?

BirdFromDaNorf · 02/05/2010 21:55

Tippy How did it go? Hope was ok.
mdavza Hope you are getting sleep. It's a killer when you're not getting enough.
otter How you doing? How's it feeling at your end?

BirdFromDaNorf · 02/05/2010 21:58

cheesenonion how are you feeling?

Sorry, didn't want to forget anyone. I've not really gotten into threads before, so am new to the * thing and [ ] stuff! Sorry for numerous posts!

cheesenonion · 04/05/2010 10:01

Morning Bird - yes doing OK thanks. Been on Prozac since Friday and dont know whether it is because I want them to work but feel calmer. Said on leaflet to avoid alcohol but not YOU MUST NOT DRINK ALCOHOL WITH THESE TABETS! Does anyone now if it is alright to have some , do not drink loads and dont get drunk BTW.

BirdFromDaNorf · 04/05/2010 12:22

Hello Cheese. I don't know about the alchohololol, I'm leaving off it - like you, I only have the odd pimms n lemonade tbh. But I'm off it as don't want to suppress the good effects of the Citraolopram (sp..)

I don't think one would be too bad would it? I just don't know. Am sure someone will along soon with more knowledge/experience.

mdavza · 06/05/2010 19:31

Hi cheese, I'm also off the alcohol for now, will have maybe a tiny bit here and there but it doesn't make me feel any better and messes with sleep. Ons the sleep front things ar dire, lo has an ear infetion, I've been up on and off for the past few nights and then, last night, after he started feeling better during the day, he was awake from 11 until 4:30!!! I had about 3 hours' sleep, fele totally knackered and have had a lot of gloomy thoughts today. But in general I'm feeling more positive and able to make it, you don't know how but you do

OP posts:
mdavza · 06/05/2010 19:45

Hi cheese, I'm also off the alcohol for now, will have maybe a tiny bit here and there but it doesn't make me feel any better and messes with sleep. Ons the sleep front things ar dire, lo has an ear infetion, I've been up on and off for the past few nights and then, last night, after he started feeling better during the day, he was awake from 11 until 4:30!!! I had about 3 hours' sleep, fele totally knackered and have had a lot of gloomy thoughts today. But in general I'm feeling more positive and able to make it, you don't know how but you do

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