losing the plot

[cheesenonion]

Have this evening thrown the kids toys around , resulting in eldest and youngest crying in the other room. No famiy arond, OH works long hours, no joy anymore. Seeing doctor tommorrow hoping he is going to put me back on anti -depressants. Feel like a failure. Life was so much simpler before kids, I watch the one born every minute programme and feel broody but then remember the reality of life with 3 kids. Need to find the joy in life again.

Thanks for listening.

I cant offer much help but didnt want your post to go unanswered.
life can be tough with kids,especially with no support,hope you get some help from the gp tomorrow,

People in the real world underestimate how hard it is looking after three children (or any children) and how monotonous it is - long hours, no breaks, no sick leave or holiday, etc. It is really hard and very, very boring at times. I have three myself and esp when your OH works long hours (like mine does too) it can be hard to stay motivated. You are not a failure.

You are not a failure bringing up children is one of the hardest things you will ever do!

One born every minute shows the initial fluffy 'I have a baby everything is lovely' bit not the weeks of no sleep and having to cope with relatives and hormones bit.

I hope your GP is understanding and will discuss all your options with you. Having to consider anti depressant medication is a place I have been many many times before and some times they are right some times they are not. It is great you are seeking help and addressing your feelings.

Please cut yourself some slack, you sound like you are having a very normal reaction to a difficult situation!

Was also wondering if there's a local home start (think that's the right name) scheme in your area? Through them some one can come and see you at home and help with your children and give you some adult company.

Hope this helps, and all goes well with your GP

Thanks everyone. Have been today and got some anti - depresants. I will keep you posted as they look like they take a while to kick in.

Cheesenonion - you are doing the right thing getting help.

I must be honest, it was hard for me to read your post as I was a child on the receieving end of the kind of thing you describe (throwing your kids' toys around while they cry in the other room) and as a child that kind of thing is terrifying to your very core.

So you're doing well to try and get help, something my mother never did. My siblings and I were trapped with her, and it was frightening - I've had 2 nervous breakdowns and an eating disorder as an adult, linked completely to my anxiety problems brought on my my mother.

You are a good mother because you recognise that you have a problem and you are fighting to get help for the sake of your children. In no way does that make you a failure. Not acknowledging or trying to solve the problem would make you a failure. You are a strong, good mother; don't tell yourself any different.

Very best of luck.

Hope the medication helps, did your GP discuss any other ways of helping your mood?

Well done for going, please keep us up to date with how you are feeling