Sinking again...

[queenoftheslatterns]

I had severe PND after ds was born 5y ago and have been anorexic for 25 years, I am now functional but when my mood driops so does my weight. i was discharged by my EDT at Christmas and my mood has been v stable since but for the last few weeks i have felt myself sinking again. I am skipping meals without realising, getting v snappy, not sleeping, getting v paranoid and i cant speak to people. my concentration is shot and so is my confidence.

I can feel myslef becoming depressed again and want to pretend its not happening. i dont want to go back onto ADs and im fed up of not being normal, not having normal responses to things. i have let myself and my family down.

You haven't let anyone down QOTS. You need to get yourslef well again though for your family. I'm sure they don't care if you're snappy/paranoid etc - they will just not want you to be unhappy.

Can you speak to a counsellor, if you haven't already. Why do you not want to go back on the ADs?
Do you think something has triggered this depression again -something you can put your finger on? Is your DS full time at school now?

my latest mc has affected me more than i thought, im just fed up of not being able to cope with feeling low without it spiralling iykwim

Sorry to hear about your mc. No wonder you feel low. Feeling continuously low though without getting help won't be helpful in you getting better though. Is there someone you've spoken to about how you feel?

thanks, i know i have to do something but I just cant get up the balls to do it. im so sad/angry/scared all the time and its exhausting. i was doing so well too.