divorcing parents - impact on toddler?

[emeraldgirl1]

My sister is in the process of a messy divorce (is there any other kind?). She is still living with her H, who is being hostile and unreasonable. If I am being completely honest, she is also being pretty unreasonable - people generally are when they are getting divorced I guess!! Their only child (2.5) is, to my mind, starting to show distinct signs of stress - crying more than usual, whining, hugely increased clinginess to his mother - and this is a child who already has been very clingy - perhaps just his character but perhaps partly the result of living with two extremely unhappy and rowing parents for his entire life so far. Both parents are claiming the other one's behaviour is damaging the child, while both somehow managing to pretend that real emotional problems are not occurring in him.

What, if anything, can I do to help/support? I am worried about my nephew.

suggest family therapy / parenting apart course / separated parents family therapy - depends what is on offer where you live....

I suggest if you can do it some very firm words with both of them separately about how selfish they are and that it is time they put their child first.

It's not rocket science - keepp the rows for when he is in bed - give him plenty of hugs and constant reassurance that they both love him.

Not rocket science that's for them of course, not for you. Getting them to listen to you without yes but it's his/her fault etc may require rocket science.

How quickly can one of them move out??

Family therapy is not going to work at the moment and is often not necessary for a child that age - they just need love acceptance and support.