Going back to work - does it help?

[BeckyBendyLegs]

Just a quick query really for anyone who has had any sort of postnatal depression / anxiety etc. during the early months of their child being born and then gone back to work. Do you find that going back to the world of work after maternity leave has helped the recovery process or actually made it worse by loading on extra burden / responsibility? I work freelance and I am due to start work next Monday and I love work so much I am hoping it will help me (esp. stop me worrying and obsessing about things and wallowing!). Before I had my latest DS I was a total workaholic! Am I expecting too much / being totally naive?

Hi Becky - i also love my job normally (altho going through a relapse of severe anxiety/depression).

I think going back to work after PND was a good thing for me - although very nerve wracking at first. Just the routine and having people to talk to etc.

I do think its a fine line tho. i have just tried to go back after being off for 7 weeks due to this relapse and have really really struggled. Part of the reason fr this is because im in a much more senior position now with a large staff and lots of responsibility. theres nothing (or noone) to hide behind and it weighing very heavy on me.

I think as long as you dont expect too much from yourself - and accept that its going to be tiring at first you should be fine. Good luck x

Thanks Kizzie - I find that I keep thinking 'yeah I am better' and then go gung-ho back into normal life and something happens and I feel crap again. It's hard to judge how far to take things I find. I'm going to try to take it easy at first - 1-2 hours a day to start with. I was working really, really hard before DS3 was born and thriving on the stress. Normally I love stress!

Just been emailing my boss and it felt so great again to be in work mode! I really, really hope doing work again helps me. I want to be the old me again!

Hi Becky I'll be interested to know how your work goes. Unfortunately I have some employment issues with my employer which is a shame as I loved the actual job, just not the politics around it. It's also extremely high stress work emotionally and mentally so not sure how it will 'mix' with family life, but not planning to go back til October anyway.
I'll let you know how my CBT goes tomorrow.
I've been feeling much better, hope you are good too.

Hi Becky,

I've been back at work now for three weeks and loving it! Seriously it's been the best thing for me.

My confidence is getting better, I'm sleeping better and most of all I'm not anxious or scared anymore.

For me getting back to the 'real world' has finally sorted my head out. I don't have time to worry about how miserable I feel and I don't have time to get anxious about the nights sleep ahead.

I put money on the fact that you'll be the same once you get into the swing of things.

I think some people just aren't mentally designed to be in their own company too much. I know DS's are company but for me I found I just had too much time to think being at home 7 days a week.

Is it next week you start? Let us know how you get on!

xx

Countrylover that is just what I wanted to hear! That's really great for you - I'm so pleased. We've had similar issues with PND too. I spent too much time worrying and obsessing about my stupid sleep patterns and anxiety levels (yesterday I woke up in a real state with my stomach in knots for no reason at all) and I am hoping that going back to working will be good for me and (I do work from home though so will still be in the house) I'll be too busy worrying about deadlines and emails that sleep won't even enter my head! I counted this morning how many times I thought about sleep from waking at 7am to 8am and it was six times. I stopped counting after that (and that was after a really good night's sleep too).

I start on 1 May and my boss is going to give me some rather mundane work to get me going for a week and then she's coming here for lunch next week for a meeting and after that I'll take up my 'proper' job again. I need the mental stimulation!!!! I can't wait.

Six times in an hour was about average for me too a while back. Some days it would be even more than that...it's so frustrating, it takes over your life doesn't it.

I started getting better when the AD's kicked in but I feel almost back to normal having gone back to work.

I still have the odd wobble though. I had a 'bad' nights sleep earlier in the week and felt rubbish the next day and I was convinced I wouldn't sleep the following night either. But I literally got into bed at 10pm and the next thing I knew it was about 3am and I'd been fast asleep all that time. I was so chuffed that I went straight back to sleep again until my 6.30am wake up call from DS2.

I really am living proof that post natal insomnia is exactly that, its post natal and therefore isn't going to last forever. I just hope I'm not jinxing it by saying all of this as I still feel as if it might come back and bite me on the bum at any point! But for now at least I am 'recovering'.

Hi Becky I had a bad night last night no idea why, very restless didn't get particularly stressed about it just feel a bit rubbish but have carried on with my day as usual.
Started the CBT today but wasn't sure about it. The first session seemed a bit rushed (an hour) and it all seems very analytical - which I normally like - but in quite a dry way. Maybe it won't seem like that when we start applying it.
Anyway I can't help thinking that three sessions of that = a REALLY nice handbag I saw in Jigsaw but would never buy myself (and I am really not that kind of girly person, usually) and is it worth it?!
Oh well I'll give it one more session because you can't really tell on the first one.
It think there's a lot of sense in the getting back to work thing as countrylover says I've never been good having too much time to think and looking after a baby is not exactly mentally stimulating, lovely though it can be. It's interesting that we were both having full on stressful times at work during pregnancy - may have contributed to this I guess?
Keep us posted on next week anyway.

Arcadia sorry you had a restless night and not the best experience with your first CBT. I had to laugh though about the jigsaw handbag comment! That might have just as theraputic benefit as the CBT you never know. (I used to love Jigsaw but we don't have one where we live now.)

I am sleeping better at the moment, and consequently thinking less about sleep in the day. But we'll see. When do you start back at work?

Hi Becky I have booked DD into nursery for the beginning of October so will look to go back part-time then, but I need to contact my employers beforehand re. salary/hours etc. I would go back sooner but it's a stressful job. I need to try and find some other form of mental stimulation in the meantime, maybe some evening classes or something.