I can feel myself slipping

[OnTheBorderline]

I haven't had my counsellor for 3/4 months now and I can feel myself slipping, I miss her chronically and have tonight been fighting back uncontrollable urges to call her

I have been pushing everyone away because I know what is coming could hurt them and I want to protect them, I am having massive feelings of unexplainable anger and confusion, feelings of emptiness and self destructive urges.

I feel like I need to drive out into the middle of nowhere and just scream, but I have a DC and am a LP.

IDK what I am going to do, I need to get all these feelings out of the way, I need to find my way around this, it's the first time I have been like this since finishing my counselling, I miss my counsellor so much, she has helped me so much, I feel like I want to call her but don't want her to know how badly I am doing atm, I want her to be proud of me

I am really struggling to do anything ATM, My house is a mess and I am struggling to even get out of bed at a decent time, I need to pull myself of this for my DC!

Your counsellor is not your mum/dad/grandparents

she's there to help you, not to be proud of you. besides if you start taking action now to prevent yourself slipping further you will give her every reason to be proud.In the end that is the sign of true improvement.

If you can see her again maybe she can help you entangle wht's going on right now and re enforce your coping strategies.

Don't be proud, be brave.

And maybe come and join our 'Fighhting our way back up' thread where you can list small achievements that you have managed.

Hi

Sorry you're feeling this way. It might just be a blip but it sounds like it would help to get back in touch with your counsellor.

It's your counsellor's job to help when you get like this. Presumably she wants to. That's why she went into the profession. Whoever you've had to please and make proud in the past, you don't have to do this for her, however big the temptation is. She'd probably be prouder that you had the guts to ask for help when you need it instead of leaving it too late. If you don't feel OK doing it for yourself, would you feel OK about calling her and letting her know how things are, for the sake of your children?