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Need advice on getting parent assessed for mental healt issues

9 replies

neverthechildalwaystheparent · 20/04/2010 20:10

Namechanger as don't want to be recognised, status update verifies am not a troll hopefully as feeling emotional and unlike me - sensitive!

My mum:

She has never been 'right' emotionally and today my sister has contacted me quite worried, my mum seems to have upped the ante and we need to seriously consider having her assessed I think.

She has always been depressed, emotionally quite childlike, as a child she would talk to me about very grown up personal problems as though I were an adult, leant on us as children emotionally, very needy. Has had a delusion before that she was pregnant, even decorated the nursery and bought cot, etc but refused to take a test which doctor and sis kept saying to her to do. Speaks innapropriately to people (oversharing, speaks about topics she knows will upset people every time they see her), often dresses inappropriately (topshop at nearly 50, or kinckers and bra visible through leggings and a vest top with a house full of visitors), scars all over legs from picking at skin on them, sleeps during day at times, shops when no money, has been on and off ADs as long as I can remember but won't have counselling as went once and the therapist wanted to start by discussing her childhood.

Is currently really overstressed at work, feels bullied, overworked, is obsessed with one person who she 'can't stand' and who she would happily go on and on about for hours if allowed to. I think they are overstretched where she works but has had this situation before at other jobs, I don't think she handles stress well at all or relationships (working or otherwise).

Sister found her in bed today in middle of day hugging a blanket and slurring her words, and cried when sis had to leave. (Sis has 4 dcs including a premie baby)
Mind website says mental health act looks at nearest relative as being able to request an assessment, nearest relatives being in a strict list of spouse (N/A), child, parent. So basically it's down to us.

What should we do?

OP posts:
willsurvivethis · 20/04/2010 20:18

From what you say she is in a bad way but not a danger to herself or others so I don't think the MHA comes into play really.

Try to drag her to the docs, you and your sister and tell her in front of her GP how worried you are about her.

neverthechildalwaystheparent · 20/04/2010 20:22

Definately not a danger to others, not sure about to herself. Trouble is she has worked in mental health for a number of years (not as a healthcare worker though), so would NEVER even hint to being a danger to herself.

Not sure we would physically get her to the docs.

OP posts:
neverthechildalwaystheparent · 20/04/2010 21:17

bump

OP posts:
BelleDeChocolateFluffyBunny · 20/04/2010 21:39

Hi.

You need to give her GP practice a call and get a GP home visit for her, explain what her behaviour is like to the GP and request that she is seen by the mental health crisis team.
You need to do this for her as she's not coping.

neverthechildalwaystheparent · 20/04/2010 21:43

Thanks Belle my sis is going to contact Mum in the morning and try to get a feel of how she is, then we will decide from there whether we can get her to go to the docs of her own accord, or whether we will have to act for her.

OP posts:
BelleDeChocolateFluffyBunny · 20/04/2010 21:48

I know how hard this is, my mum has had episodes of total breakdowns before and has needed to be hospitalised. You have to stay strong. It's hard being the child sometimes, especially when it feels like you don't have a parent. Could she be ill? Sometimes an infection or dehydration can cause this sort of behaviour.

neverthechildalwaystheparent · 20/04/2010 21:54

Apparently she walked out of work yesterday (she has done this before) and I am assuming has been in bed since. Saw her Sunday and she was okay, her usual self but physically well, chatty playing with the grandkids etc.

Yes, having no present, reliable parents makes for a rather isolated feeling I find. Cut my dad out of my life nearly 20 yrs ago (abusive), and TBH I struggle to have a relationship with my mum as it is because of dad related, feeling let down by her, issues. I have a DS with SN and my sis has 4 dcs, we have another sis (youngest) but she won't have much at all to do with my mum. Bet my sister felt like crap having to go home when my mum was upset, but I bet she felt a little angry too. I know I do at times. We have never had anyone to lean on.

OP posts:
neverthechildalwaystheparent · 20/04/2010 21:55

whoops that should say 10 years ago not 20!

OP posts:
BelleDeChocolateFluffyBunny · 20/04/2010 22:01

My sister and I have just learned to get on with things, it's easier to just not think about it and go with the flow. I try not to indulge her. It's hard not having that guidance from your mum though.

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