Struggling to do things

[flibbertigibbert]

I'm not sure if this is a mental health issue but thought I'd post it here and get some opinions.

I have a problem with motivation. Anything from academic work to things like going to the bank or the gym. I know everyone finds these things a chore, but I avoid them to the extreme. I should've graduated last summer but I couldn't do the essays I needed to graduate. I was entered into retakes but again I failed to submit the essays. I've been entered yet again, but have given myself 10 days to do two 3000 word essays. I also need to start applying for jobs for when I graduate but despite spending ages reading job adverts I haven't applied for any. It's like I'm in denial about what I have to do.

I know lack of motivation can be associated with depression, and I do have a family history of depression, but I don't feel depressed. I'm happy in myself. I'm motivated to go out and see friends or do driving lessons.

I spend ages making plans about how I'm going to do my work but when it comes down to actually working I just can't do it. I don't know what's wrong with me.

Maybe academic work isn't for you? I think studying is harder than having a job in some ways as you have to constantly motivate yourself and don't have people around you to spur you on.

I definitely agree with you there. I went to a very pushy school where the teachers motivated you so you didn't have to be hugely motivated yourself. I was terrible at doing my homework on time.

The problem is, I'm not going to get a job if I can't motivate myself to do the applications.

Get a temping job then. No need to apply! It will either be so rubbish and soul-destroying that you are compelled to find a proper job, or may lead to a permanent job, or will inspire you to start applying! Won't you need the money at some point anyway?! Surely that will motivate you

More seriously though have a think about whether you are lacking confidence or self-esteem. I know that held me back when I finished university - I didn't think anyone would give me a job. It was the wrong attitude, I should have aimed higher!

I have a massive problem with confidence and self esteem. I was always quite shy and then I got bullied through secondary school which really destroyed my confidence. I had therapy and a few sessions of CBT but I'm not sure whether the confidence is something I can change - I feel that it's just my personality now.

I suppose that the reluctance to apply for jobs is related to the fear of actually having to do the job. I'm scared of making a terrible mistake in my work. The thought of just walking into an office full of new people terrifies me.

I'm sorry to hear that you don't feel confident.
I think that fear can only be overcome by actually doing, but starting in a situation where you feel that there isn't so much at stake.
Another way of getting that confidence can be through voluntary work, maybe? Or work experience?

I think work experience would really help, but I've been too scared to apply for anything. A few years ago I worked in an orphanage in Africa which really helped my confidence. Because it was thousands of miles away I wasn't so worried about doing it because I knew that if I made a mistake I could leave it all behind. Also, there were lots of other volunteers there who were in the same situation. In my previous summer jobs I've always been one of a team - either working in a shop or call centre. I haven't been solely responsible for anything. I'm scared of doing a job where I'm the only one in that role and where I have to use my initiative rather than just following orders.

What's your field of potential work, if you don't mind me asking? Would it carry huge responsibilities from the start?

I'd probably just be starting out in admin or something similar. Preferably with a charity or for a local authority. Probably not with huge responsibilities, but I'm still scared at the idea of not having a very set routine of work. Because I've struggled academically I won't have the degree result to apply for any high flying graduate careers.