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Mental health

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Boyfriend depressed

2 replies

rainbow35 · 14/04/2010 16:52

My boyfriend lost his job a few months ago and has started to come down with depression. I'm really starting to worry about him as he is also drinking on a daily basis, at least a bottle of wine every night, which he thinks is normal and everyone he knows does it.

Its starting to have an effect on our relationship. For example he talks to himself in the evenings when he is out side having a cigarette. He doesn't care about me anymore, upsets me alot by talking about other women and stares at them when he's with me, and thinks i'm over reacting. He never calls when he says he will. He doesn't wash very often. He doesn't show any interest in what i'm doing or asks how i am much anymore. He stresses over silly little things, although he is not abusive in any way.

His personality has completely changed and the longer he's out of work the worst its getting. I want to talk to him about his drinking but don't know how to do this. I can see its affecting his mental health but it must be affecting him physically as well.

OP posts:
Kathyjelly · 15/04/2010 08:27

My nephew got like that. He lost all self esteem, couldn't be bothered about himself or anyone else. He wouldn't go to the doctor.

In the end we persuaded him to go with a friend to the local dog trust to do some dog walking. It got him out of bed, got some exercise which helped with the depression and he started interacting with the dogs. That's when he started cheering up. Once he was a bit more positive and clean & tidy he got another job through someone he met at the Dog Trust.

Is there something like that close by. Maybe keep an eye on the local paper for charities asking for help. Some counties have lowland search & rescue teams who always need help. Or find something that needs doing that he can take a bit of pride in.

cestlavielife · 16/04/2010 12:21

you can take control by setting your boundaries as to what you expect in terms of behaviour from him.

remember he is an adult and unless he suicidal/violent/in danger he wont get any help unless he requests it from GP/councsellor/Al anon etc.

so he is responsible for his health.

you are responsible for your reaction to this. his depression is no excuse for eyeing other women in front of you if you have told him you dont tolerate this.

you cannot cahnge him - you can support and encourage him to get help for himself - but you can only change what you do in repsponse to this and set clear boundaries for what you tolerte from him.

see www.depressionfallout.com/

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