If everything turned out fine, how soon will I get over witnessing a traumatic event?

[ALittleHelpPlease]

I'm an intermittent mumsnetter, but I've name changed. . I would appreciate thoughts on this, and any advice anyone can give.

My dh has epilepsy and I have witnessed him having seizures several times. It's horrible for him of course, and hard to watch but I know what to do and how to help him and provided he is fine, I am usually just a bit jumpy for a couple of weeks afterwards then I'm fine too. His epilepsy is generally well controlled with medication.

The most recent time was different. He had a seizure in the bathroom and collapsed against the door, blocking it so I couldn't get in. The door was ajar though and all I could see was a rapidly spreading pool of blood. He was unconscious, which is the typical final phase of his seizure and I know that so I was telling myself not to panic, while all the time terrified that he wouldn't regain consciousness.

He did wake up thank goodness, injury wasn't as bad as it looked, off to hospital for a few stitches and a couple of hours observation and he's sorted (injury wise anyway - he'll need a review of his drugs/lifestyle). He's actually bounced back extremely quickly whereas I am a bit of a wreck. I'm having flashbacks, I have completely lost my appetite, it's taking me hours to fall asleep and a couple of times I've become aware that I need to concentrate on breathing because it's getting very shallow & fast.

It's been less than a week, so I think this is probably fairly normal. I know this might be a 'piece of string' question but when could I reasonably expect it to lessen or stop, or to put another way, when should I consider getting further help?

Thank you

How awful for you and your DH
Often these things are worse for relatives/witnesses as you've actually got memories of the event, whereas as the sufferer doesn't. I would talk to your GP and maybe mention it when your DH has his review. It sounds a bit like you are having panic attacks with the the shallow breathing. Is there a support group you can join?

I hope you can get some sort of help x

You might need to see the Dr once a very old lady grabbed at me by the neck dunno why -i was so shocked and upset I went to see the dr whilst sat there the nurse knocked on the door I jumped with fear!! the dr gave me a prescription for valium to calm me down - didnt take it but it helped knowing it was 'acceptable' to feel like that.

You poor thing. All I can offer by way of experience is that I had a traumatic time giving birth and subsequent health scares (in the first week following the birth) with my DD who was born 4 1/2 months ago. I had horrific nightmares and problems sleeping and felt very low. I remember the GP saying that it would take 3 months to get over the PTSD. I still have some issues now but there was a moment a couple of weeks ago where I suddenly realised I no longer felt traumatised and the nightmares stopped - though they returned a bit when she has been ill this week (just a bug luckily).

So I would say that it will probably take a few months and you need to look after yourself, be kind to yourself, and eat well etc. You may have some set backs along the way. But hopefully it will be quicker than that for you.

As regards the sleep if you do need to you could take sleeping pills on the odd night just to catch up and get back on track - I've only used mine about 8 times over a period of 4 months so no risk at all of getting addicted.

I'm sorry to hear you have had a frightening experience. It is normal to feel the way you do for a while.If the feelings continue for a number of weeks, then see your GP. What you are feeling is a normal reaction to an abnormal event.

Thank you everyone.

Jetgirl, I had thought about panic attacks and know a couple of people who suffered from them - I don't think I have had a full-blown one, but may have done if I hadn't stopped and breathed deeply. There probably is a support group I could join (online if not locally) but I would feel a bit of a fraud because dh's epilepsy is so well controlled compared to a lot of people. Probably silly of me.

nickschick, I know what you mean about it being 'acceptable' - I sorry you had such a shock and glad that the dr helped.

arcadia - I'm so sorry you had a traumatic birth . I'm glad you are beginning to feel a bit better. The birth of my first wasn't great either and actually you've made me realise that the feelings are similar but not as intense and obsessive so possibly I will feel better more quickly! I will definitely bear the sleeping pills in mind, I have never had them but I'd love to get a couple of decent nights.

scurryfunge, thank you, that is very reassuring. At the moment we are very focused on fitting in all of dh's medical appointments but I'll give it a few weeks and think about one for me if things haven't changed.