So...I called the HV...I have an appointment tomorrow- HELP

[IBlameThePenguins]

Hi all, I just typed a great long post, but somehow didn't send it properly...so here goes take 2!

I rarely post on MN, and have never posted on this thread before, but feelthat now might be the time for some wise words from the MNers.

I have a 7month old, and live with no close friends or family near by. I have been feeling really down and completely lonely. I used to be vivacious and outgoing and now I am petrified of social situations, and have found myself making excuses not to go to things, and for friends not to come and visit (mainly because I feel so horrid and fat).

Anyway, I don't want to feel like this anymore, and eventually plucked up the courage to contact my HV for an appoinment (it took several attempts). The apt is tomorrow and I'm TERRIFIED. I want to back out, even though I know I shouldn't. I work in the health profession and know I will see the HV at meetings and thing when I return to work.

Does anyone know what is likely to happen at the apt?

Please reassure me. I know that going to see her will be the 1st step in not feeling this way anymore, but I'm feeling sick just thinking about it

Thanks in advance for any replies.

xx

The first step is the hardest - honestly. I took DH with me to docs as I knew if i went on my own I would talk about my funny toenails - but instead I came away with a diagnosis of PTSD!

I can imagine it is hard though if you will see her professionally. You can always ask her to set you up with someone else? She should understand.

You deserve to get support - go for it!

Penguins, it will be ok, I have recently had to do the same thing and it was the best thing I did, my hv is being really supportive and helping.

I didn't know what to say at first either, it was hard opening up to other people especially when I wasn't used to it.

Could you maybe write a list of things you want to talk about / say? I found I always forgot something.

Thank You so much for replying. I will just have to take a big deep breath and go for it...will most definately take a list though. That way, if I totally wimp out, i can at least show her.

Marshmallow - do you mind me asking what the outcome of your visit was? do you see her regularly, or did she refer you on? Are you starting to feel better?

Sorry for all the questions. Thanks again for your replies.

Pengiuns,
I now see my hv weekly and she referred me to a cpn and also makes my gp appointments. My hv is really amazing as she came with me to ds's hospital app as I was too scared to go myself and she came with me to my gp appointment to get me signed off work.

It did take me a while to get all of this though and mainly in the last 3 weeks as things hit crisis point. But as everyone tells me, baby steps, things wont get better overnight but making the phone call is a baby step in the right direction and you should be proud of yourself.

Thanks Marshmallow. Your HV sounds lovely. Thanks to your posts and the other replies I have now at least convinced myself to go to the apt tomorrow, which I suppose is a baby step in itself. Out of interest, what is a cpn? (last question, promise!) Thanks again for using your experiences to help me.

Hi a cpn is a nurse who specialises in people struggling with mental health - community psychiatric nurse.

Hope it goes well. x

Good luck for your appointment today Penguins

Hello Penguins, how did the appointment go? You did such a brave thing getting in touch with the HV. For me it was the beginning of getting some help with my PND, and so the beginning of me getting better (thank god). I really hope the same for you.

Let us know and maybe we can help in other ways?

Hi, Thank You! The appointment went well...I was so nervous in the waiting room, but kept telling myself "baby steps, like marshmallow said"!!

She has referred me on to the mental health team for some talking therpay, and is going to give me a call in a week to arrange a home visit. She was so understanding and reassured me that this doesn't makeme a crap Mum. I am really glad I did it!

domesticslattern do you mindme asking, how far down theline are you now?

Thanks again to you all. I already feel a little lighter just forgetting stuff off my chest and admitting how I'm feeling.

Pengiuns, well done you should be proud of yourself and your hv is right you are not a crap mum

I think I should be proud of you marshmallow! I wiuld never have made it through the door if it wasn't for your lovely supportive messages...you're a bloomin inspiration! I can't tell you how grateful I am!! xx

thank you penguins but we all do what we need to get by, you have taken the first baby step to getting help and managed. hopefully your hv is a good one and will check on you and the talking therapy comes through quickly but well done

Penguins, I am finally back to normal- so there is light at the end of the tunnel, I promise!

I could have written your exact post when DD was 7 months old. Especially the bit about "I used to be vivacious and outgoing"- just thinking, where has the old domesticslattern gone, I never used to be like this? I had talking therapy and a HV who rang and visited frequently, and who I think was absolutely fab. She was very reassuring that I was not a crap mum for needing help- indeed, quite the opposite, in that I was desperate to address the situation and do the best for me and my DD.

So well done, look after yourself, eat well, try baby steps with the social thing - we are all right behind you.

Thanks domesticslattern (love the name by the way!) sorry it's taken so long to reply, it's been a busy day or two!

It's so nice to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel, and am glad to hear you are back to feeling yourself again. It has given me hope that the "old" me might still be in there somewhere afterall!!

I have had a big talk with DP now, and another Mum from my NCT class, who told me she is going through exactly the same (And I truly believed all the other Mums were just fine!) and I already feel like a weight has been lifted.

DP and I are going to try and find a babysitter and go swimming together every week, so hopefully the excercise and having some time together will help.

Am trying to be more positive about it all, and will take your advice, and try baby steps with the social thing.

I feel like I am at least on the ladder to getting fixed now...even if, for now I am only n the bottom rung...it's a start, eh!?

xxx

Penguins, well done for talking to your dp that must have been a big step. I am glad you have found someone else who is going through the same thing as you do think you are the only one, I know I do at times.

penguins How are you doing?

Hi Marshmallow...sorry for lack of reply, our laptop's a bit dodgy, so it's been with a friend getting fixed. I'm OK... have had a really nice long weekend. It helps that DP has been off, as I think a big part of the problem is loneliness...Sometimes I get scared when I'm happy though, as I worry it'll make the down spell worse .

How are you doing?

Am off to bed now, but will check again tomorrow. Hope you're OK, and that you had a nice easter. x

Hi Pengiuns, I am ok, plodding onwards the weekend was okish in stages.

I have that worry too, when I have a good hour or day I spend it worrying about when my mood is going to drop again.

When is your hv coming to see you again?