How can I help my friend, she's in hospital and I'm so worried...

[bintofbohemia]

One of my best and oldest friends, she's been having a rough time the last 6 months. She was initially told she might be bi-polar and given mood stabilisers but they seemed to floor her, it was awful to see her like that. Then she came off them and went on ADs, they made the world of difference and she seemed back to her old self again, but I'm wondering now if this was a period of mania (although she's not manic as such, so more hypomania?)

Anyway, she made some bizarre calls and texts last week and has now been admitted to hospital for a few weeks until the meds kick in. (I don't know the finer details, I need to call her mum, but I think she was refusing to eat and possibly thinking of/trying to kill herself?)

I want to go and see her, but I don't know how to help her best? I suffer from depression so I can relate to some extent but this is now a whole other thing and I don't know how it works or how she must be thinking and what she needs. She's a good two hours away so I can't go until the weekend but I honestly don't know what to do for the best. Am so devastated for her, that it's come to this, and I'm scared for her, but obviously that's not helpful to her.

Anyone know anything about this kind of thing? Any advice?

Hiya, AlwaysMeanWellOftenWrong is going through similar with her friend, there is a thread here

All the best

Thank you - will go and have a look.

I was hospitalised for a while when I had PND.

As I said on the other thread, little practical items meant so much to me.

Someone sent me a little M&S gift bag full of lovely shampoo and bubble bath plus some body lotion.

It was such a little thing, but in there it felt like a luxury and I felt so touched that someone cared for me like this.

Also energy snacks like chocolate milkshake cartons, cereal bars etc. really helped me through as the food in there was so awful.

Hope she gets well soon x

I have a friend who has been in hospital a few times.

I think she mainly appreciates that we (me and dh) have visited her, and been emotionally available because a lot of her friends dropped away from her and felt uncomfortable or couldn't handle it. She told me we make her feel like she isn't 'a freak' (her words).

sorry to hear your friend hasn't been well, hope she is recovering nicely

am not so sure about the bath stuff, depends if she is allowed to have a bath on her own or not (is just so hard to relax and enjoy it when you have a nurse with you all the time, grrrr) but I really appreciated cards and flowers and nice things for my room - maybe she will be allowed a little bit of leave soon and you could go for a walk together or something? or some decent food/coffee if is NHS hospital!

I was allowed a bath as long as I kept the door open and the nurse was outside! She did turn her back though to give me a bit of privacy! (you get used to not having any)

Thank you so much for the replies. I desperately want to make everything alright for her and I know I can't. I'm also a bit worried that her parents might not want her to have visitors, although my mother (who was sectioned when she was about my age) said it's really important to go as she felt like her whole life was out of control and said it was very scary.) I might try to get down there on Friday, take her an easter egg and some bits.

I just hope that whatever it is (am largely assuming its bipolar because that's what was suggested 6 months ago) is fixable. Or at least manageable. I'm really worried that she was trying to kill herself. I got an email yseterday but she still sounds a bit confused. She is one of the kindest most amazing people I know and it's tragic that this is happening to her.

Thanks again.

am sure it will be either manageable or fixable, recovery is possible for just about every psychiatric condition - even if recovery only means getting as far as recognising and responding quickly to symptoms to minimise their impact

try not to think of what led to her hospitalisation as a tragedy, the treatment and support she is getting now could well be the very thing that averts a real tragedy later - and agree with your mum that it's important to know people care and still see you as you

hope it goes well on Friday, there's some good information about bipolar here you could skim through for an overview, in case that is what she has

Thanks Mitchy. You're right about the tragedy bit, I'm really keen to keep my feelings about it from her, but the whole situation makes me so for her. Will buck myself up when I see her.

It makes you sad because aside from her being your friend you are thinking 'that could be me',and it could be any of us,mental health doesnt discriminate.

Its a lovely thought to take her an easter egg and perhaps a nice spray so her bed and her pjs dont smell clinical.

Hope you and your friend are feeling better soon.

IME, not everyone wants visits in hospital anyway as they are feeling particularly vulnerable at this time, so I'd just be letting her know that you haven't been 'scared off' by what's happened to her and that you are looking forward to seeing her when she is feeling better. and maybe send her the odd parcel (like your egg and spray) with small things which will make her smile and feel loved and thought about.Being in hospital is like being in limbo; it is afterwards she may feel the need for extra support.
You sound like a lovely friend.

Thank you. I've spoken to her dad and we're going tomorrow. I've made her a lavender pillow (I think she's been a bit agitated, it might help a bit) and got a few bits together and I guess I'll just have to gauge things when I get there. I know they don't like to label these things, but not sure anymore if it is bi-polar. Her dad thinks it's just a breakdown, hopefully it's just a blip? It's not a nice blip for her though, it must be quite scary as I think she thinks she's fine.

a lavender pillow sounds lovely bint hope shes soon well.

youre a v nice person.