Scared of going to the doctor, what if ....

[WomblingAround]

I think I may have finally persuaded myself that going to the doctor to talk about depression may be a good idea. I have made an appointment for Monday, but it is not with my usual doc.

But what if ...
I get in there and my mind goes blank and I can't think what to say?

He says I don't have depression? Does that just mean I'm rubbish enough not to be able to cope, but not rubbish enough to have a reason for it?

DH doesn't 'believe' in depression, what do I tell him? I'm going to have to tell him I'm going to the docs as it's an evening appointment.

Well tgat's half your problem, your DH being unsuportive

If you're worried about forgetting everything you want to say, make a list of pointers before you go in there, to give you something to refer to if your mind goes blank. I do this for the midwife as I would forget every single time what I wanted

As for your DH - he doesn't 'believe' in depression? WTF? What does he think it is then? And even if he doesn't believe, will he accept that you do think you need some help?

Nods at ripeberrys comment.

I think you should just tell your dh you dont feel up to par and that you are going to the gps.

When you get there have it written down how you feel to prompt you,generally docs are v good at diagnosing depression so you may not have to say much for the Doc to realise.

If as he probably will say it is depression then your Dh will have to get used to the idea that depression does exist.

There is sometimes periods when you as a mum have to put you as a person first and Id be inclined to say this is one of those times - depression is a very slippy slope-reach out grab the handrail before you become to far down.

Good luck.

Write down how you are feeling.

Don't be in too much of a stat if he doesn't diagnose depression. It might not be what is wrong.

Your DH is thick. Sorry. You can still be supportive even if you don't "get" depression.

lol at 'your dh is thick' ......well said fab (how are you today?)

I am okay, thanks. Had a good couple of days managing the kids behaviour and it is so much better when it doesn't escalate. I have stopped giving up quite so much.

Thanks for all your comments. I guess I just need to grow some and get on with it.

DH thinks as it's all in the mind you just solve it by being happy.

Definitely recommend writing everything down. Even if you don't refer to it, just the process of writing it will have helped you to remember....

See if any of the following apply to you:

Difficulty sleeping
Crying most days
Feeling excessively anxious or worried
Feeling irritable or moody
Unable to concentrate on anything
Unable to feel pleasure or enjoy things you once enjoyed
Low sex drive
Apathy
Finding it difficult to hold a conversation

If you have some of these, you may have depression.

Hopefully your GP will be supportive. Depression is a real illness, and it needs to be treated as such.

Sorry your DH doesn't understand, that must be very hard.

I'm going to GP on Wed, I'm a bit nervous too. Mind you I have a loooong history of depression so not such a big deal.

I'm sure your GP will realise how you feel even if you get all flustered in the appt. Hopefully your DH will get a grip come around and be supportive. Maybe if you go on meds you can wave them in his face and say "look! it's a real illness, they have pills for it!"

Don't wish to sound patronising but well done for getting to the GP - it is a very important first step. and depression doesn't need reasons. you don't need something to be 'upset' about, it just happens and is nothing to be ashamed of. ok???

(((hugs)))

oh and also, as fab said, don't worry if they actually diagnose you (I still have no idea if I was officially diagnosed with PND after DD was born, it doesn't really matter) - what matters is that you get some help, whatever form that takes, and start feeling better.

OK, check list so far:

• Difficulty sleeping - tick, can't sleep at night then exhausted in the mornings, but also waking up at silly o'clock in the morning not being able to get back to sleep.
• Crying most days - tick
• Feeling excessively anxious or worried - tick
• Feeling irritable or moody - tick
• Unable to concentrate on anything - no, think thconcentration is ok
• Unable to feel pleasure or enjoy things you once enjoyed - tick (not all the time, but a fair amount of the time)
• Low sex drive - no
• Apathy - tick
• Finding it difficult to hold a conversation - no, don't think so.

What sort of help do you mean? I sort of just imagined it would be 'here take these magic pills and come back in a month or so'.
And if it is not depression, what can they actually do, apart from just tell me to get my act together?

well you have got a lot of ticks there wombling. It may well be depression.

They could refer you to psychological therapies such as CBT but there will probably be a waiting list so it may be anti-depressants as well, as a kind of combined approach.

Sorry you are feeling this way. There is a way through, promise. I have been well now for over 6 months and can honestly say I don't think I've ever been happier.

WA - you and me have very similar lists.

Fab you are gonna think im weirdy (im not well not more than anyone else i dont think) but I had a very strange thing happen to me when I was reading your threads the other day.

Its not personal as in it identifies people or anything but I just got a very strong mental picture - I can tell you on here or you can email me- i might be chatting shit but this has only ever happened to me twice before (again with relative strangers and both times I was somehow 'spot on').

Spooked

CAT me if you want

I dont have CAT.

Dont be spooked it might not be any sense ...

email me - [email protected]

have emailed

Good luck WA - asking for help is a great step to take. I hope it goes well for you

at you 2 and reccomends specsavers lol

Thanks everyone. Am definately going to keep the appointment. Will let you know how it goes.