Partners of anxiety sufferers

[RaceyLacey]

Just a quick post before collecting ds's from school. Just wondered if there was anyone else out there who's partner suffers with anxiety & panic attacks?

My dp has been suffering with both for years, his mum does too. We've only been living together for 6 months, so it's only early days for me experiencing his moods etc. I'm really struggling to not take things personally when he's down. I know he's not in a mood with me, but can't help feeling that way. He's said that the best thing I can do is ignore him, and just be there to give him a cuddle when he wants one and to listen to him when he has worries. I do all this, but am finding it so hard.

Just wanted to chat to other people about it, and see how others cope when their OH is down. He has had counselling for it and does have coping strategies, he can stop a panic attack coming on, but the anxiety is almost ever-present. I'm really struggling atm to deal with it, but don't want to say anything to him.

My dh has had depression on and off for as long as I have known him (together 13 years, married nearly 12 and 2yr old ds)and recently has struggled with anxiety too, but is responding well to the 10mg of citalopram he's finally decided to accept.

I find there is a knack to living with a dp like this and that knack is called 'I'm not the nurse'. Sounds nasty but isn't, I love my dh to bits and would never be without him. But we are equal partners in the relationship and he needs to love and support me as much as vice versa and it is ok for me to expect that from him. Don't treat him with kid gloves or avoid doing things because he finds them hard.

Another thing I found important is 'I'm not down just because you are'. Stay true to your own mood whatever that may be. If you feel like singing, do.

May not work for everyone but that's how we get through dh's episodes.

Hi, thanks for your reply, how long did it take you to 'get used to it'?

Hmm I think it happened somewhere in the first year. Quite quickly in any event, we got married fairly quickly and I remember discussing it in marriage preparation.