Emotionally binge eating and very very low.

[Droosie]

Have name changed here but need help as I am really struggling. Long story made short is that after DS was born 7 years ago I had severe PND not helped by the fact I was ill with gallstones. I had severe panic attacks which were crippling and have been on antidepressants more or less ever since apart from a few short breaks. Currently I am on Venlafaxine 75mg once a day which I was prescribed when I had a nervous breakdown 2 years ago. My marriage broke down and I moved 170 mils to be nearer my family.

TBH I have always had a problem with food - emotional eating etc and my weight has yo-yo'd up and down in line with how I am feeling. At the moment I am 16.5 stones and 5ft 5inches tall. It's the heaviest I have ever been and I am in despair because I just cannot seem to get to a point where am in the right mindset to start on a healthy eating programme. I feel hopeless alot of the time. It doesn't help that DS is struggling in school and being investigated for possible Aspergers. He has lots of sensory issues and his behaviour over the past few weeks has deteriorated in the classromm. I am going up to the school today for a meeting (which I have requersted) to discuss this as I am very concerned.

But I am eating ++ and it's all un healthy stuff like crisps, ice cream and other shit. I am drinking plenty of water and don't really drink much alcohol. My weight feels like it has soared in a short time and at the moment I want to cry. Yet the solution is in my own hands as surely if I really wanted to I could stop. At times I panic that all this eating will give me a serious illness or a heart attack and then DS will be alone . I know that there are people out there much bigger than me and my Nan was overweight all her life (died aged 92) so I know it is not a given thing that my extra weight will kill me.

I have planned to go for a walk today just to get me out of the house while DS is in school and to get some exercise. My GP says that walking is very good exercise and also helps emotionally. I know this as when I was a memeber of a gym last year I lost loads of weight and felt great. I really felt the difference that exercise could make. I am now working part time though and money is a struggle so gym membership is beyond me but free exercise such as walking is not thankfully. Just need the get up abd go to do it.

Any other emotional eaters out there? What has helped you if you've tackled it successfully. I have had two years of councelling with an eating disorders clinic which helped in that I now understand I am a binge eater and a bit about what sets me off but I still don't have it under control.

Where are you? Can't you walk with someone ? I found that more help than anything else. It's much easier to do and much more fun if you have someone to chat to.

Hi there

Yes, me too - binge eater since the age of about 7-8 when the sexual abuse began that triggered it. I always thought I knew why I ate and still it was only last year that i discovered how it really worked. I'm not so much stuffing feelings down as creating a safe and happy place for myself. But yes, i am very overweight and my dh worries about it. I try not to because my counsellor has taught me that it is a symtom of the real problem and is likely to become managable or disappear once I am further along the journey of recovery.

IME there is a difference between understanding why you do it and changing it - one doesn't come in a package deal with the other. As you now feel you know the reasons you may well benefit from some CBT to help change your patterns. You have some extremely stressful situations in your life and it sounds like they are not goign away for now. I have a ds with mild cerebral palsy and speech delay - that's much easier to deal with I think than autism and yet it can be tough enough. Have you ventured on the Special Needs boards? Very friendly lot and more knowledge on autism than you have ever seen together before.

There are some books that really helped me with my eating, by Lee Janogly, a diet counsellor, one is called Stop Bingeing and one is called Only Fat People Skip Breakfast. They are funny and slightly sharp and made me laugh about myself and stopped me hiding things from my dh so much.

And the walking - just go for it. i was off for 6 months as my PTSD was too bad to work and I really grew to love the long walks I made on my own.

Thank you for the responses as it's helpful to hear from others who understand. Today I have not been too bad but there is crap food in the house and I just know when DS goes to bed I might break into it.

CBT sounds a good idea and I hadn't thought about it in relation to my eating. I used a site called Living Life to the Full to help with my panic attacks so might go back there in relation to the eating problems.

Hi - I binge/comfort eat too and I was told by my counsellor to try not to focus on it, it would go away when I am emotionally better. Well it hasn't yet - but I do try to exercise,but doing it alone I don't succeed.

Why not ask your gp for a prescription for health - which is 10/20 sessions at a gym for a low price (my friend paid £1.80 a time, with a trainer) - would that help? I also have seen signs up for mental health walks - walks arranged for people to walk as a group in the day to improve their health, maybe something like that is around your area too?

Like the idea of CBT as a suggestion, or the other website.