Am missing excitement in my life

[cityfan]

Wasn't sure where to post this as it seems a trivial problem but it seems to be taking over my thoughts more and more and I feel as if I'm in a downward spiral.

Quite simply, I find it really hard to deal with the day to day grind of being a parent. It's an endless round of getting up at hellish o' clock, school run, come back and sort out house, washing, making more food for dinner, having DS moan "I don't like it", having to feed him like a baby, clearing up, bed time, sorting out dinner for DH and I, an hour watching shit on tv and then try and get a reasonably early night before it all starts again.

I know lots of mums probably feel like this but it seems to be taking up all my thoughts recently. I long for excitement and spontaneity. I want to have some late nights and go out and get drunk and snog someone unsuitable. I feel irrational jealousy when I see teenagers, I feel like I want to tell them to fuck off. I can't cope with the fact that I am 40 and I feel like when I have finished bringing up my son, my life will be nearly over.

Is this a mid-life crisis-do women even have them-I am depressed-or do I just need a good slap?

Yes I think it is normal to feel like that. The question is-what can you do to stop the rot? I wouldn't recommend snogging someone unsuitable but what is stopping you doing things that are fun?

didn't want to let this go answered but I reckon almost everyone on here has gone through this. It is unrelenting and sometimes the most boring job in the world. It can also seem low on perks.

I have definitely felt like this and can't give you much advice other than things do improve. Can you organise for someone to have your LO for a couple of hours so you can soak in the bath with a book or mooch around the shops and have a coffee on your own?

Could you sort this for a weekend or overnight?

I took up a couple of evening classes sporadically so I had to get out for something for me once a week.

I think we all feel like that from time to time cityfan. The truth is being a parent is really hard. It is a daily grind and you have described it very well.

However it is not normal to have no joy along the way. Does your DS make you laugh? What do you do on the weekends? When did you last go on holiday?

I think it's normal to feel like this every now and then but if it goes on and on and you feel life is unbearable then something is wrong.

Ask yourself if you have any of these:

• inability to concentrate
• feeling tired all the time
• crying most days
• sleeping problems
• excessive worry / anxiety
• feeling heavy, weary, and "down"
• inability to feel pleasure / enjoy things you used to enjoy

If you have some of the above you may be depressed.

Sorry you are feeling this way. Do you have any other mum friends you can meet up with for a chat about how you are feeling?

You need to get some adult interaction (not an affair, would it be possible to work a couple of hours a week or volunteer hours that suit with school hours. Being at home all day can be so boring, I think it goes in cycles were you're pissed off with routine.

Thanks for the replies. Yes, my son does bring me joy and I do have moments of feeling ok.

I have things going on in my life. I do volunteer work, I have been studying, I meet friends, I do have spare time as son is at school.

A lot of the time I feel numb though. I do feel tired a lot, I feel weary and low, like I'm going through the motions.

DH and I do go out but I can't really be bothered sitting talking to him (but that's another story).

I used to have quite an exciting job with lots of travel. I saw lots of the world. I'm finding it hard just being in the same routine all day, every day.

.

Were you made to be a SAHM - would it be an option to work? I work 2.5 days in a week in the same senior role I had before I had ds and I need it (will be made redundant at the end of the month but heyho will find something else). For me even if my job just about pays for childcare I will work - do you need to/want to look for something outside the home?

i feel exactly the same but i am a tad older. Felt like that for years. Whats it all about. Wanrt some fun and a good laugh and to feel sexy again.I hate the tedium of cleaning,ironing,shopping,cookling,gardening,diy,decorating,paperwork...bills.letters to school.

Believe me its even worse when you are a single parent. Its all down to me to organise everything. For once i would love someone to organise me

Where do you start though. Its difficult when there doesn't seem enough hours in the day for it all. My DS likes to wake up at 5am so I have to go to bed so early to get enough sleep that even the evenings are non existent.
I work and it does help just to have a few hous of thinkin about something else. Would like to have a hobby or even time to read a novel but it doesn't seem to happen.

Hi everyone. Am feeling bit better at the moment. Had a long chat with DH and we cleared the air about a lot of things and it has helped.

I would like to work though. Difficult to find things that fit in with school hours. And being a SAHM is not the doss that men seem to think it is. Anyway, thanks for replying. At least we know there are other mums out there who feel our pain!...