Not sure if here's the best place to post but could really do with a few words of support or guidance at the moment. Feel like I'm going crazy - have 3 dcs under 3 all who were premature and spent several weeks in hospital which was stressful and traumatic. I'm now back at work which I'm finding hard. I'm due to reduce my hours in a couple of months and have barely any shifts before then due to holidays owing. But I hate it - I love the people but hate the company and it's often ridiculous rules etc. Recently had a run in with my manager when I was feeling down last time and she told me I was being silly and to pull myself together. About 2 months ago I was really, really low, flashbacks to babies births, panic attacks about leaving them and just feeling down. I saw the nurse at gps who I felt laughed at me and dismissed my anxieties. He just said talk to your manager which I did and got a bad response from her. She sent an email around the office telling all the supervisors that I couldnt cope. I feel kinda awkward when I see any of them now as I dont feel I cant cope with the children I just feel this sense of sadness. I was refered for counselling at my 6 week check after Dts born but I just never got time to go then. It feels like my downers come after my period and takes a week or two to feel normal again. Things bad with DH too at the moment as he doesnt really understand. He's fab in every way but I feel like his patience is running out. Our sex life is zero and he is feeling hurt and rejected but I just cant face it. I feel like I'm close to losing the happy home I had just a few months agao..... whats wrong with me and where do I get some help???