Am i going mad

[bettybets]

My baby is 6 months old, from when she was first born i had horrible thoughts of harming her in different ways, although i would never act on these. I was afraid to be left with her at first for the first few days incase i did something. I told my partner at the time who was really supportive and told me it was normal and to carry on. Months have gone past and i've had these thoughts on and off, however i'm back at work and these thoughts have come back stronger than ever. I was terrified to tell a GP or HV but now i have done some reading i'm unsure what do to? Should i tell my GP and get treatment, although i have seemed to get over these thoughts before?

Hi there
Having thoughts like this, while probably more common that people think, certainly isn't normal and I think you need to see a GP asap and get treatment, for your sake and for your baby's sake. Your GP will know what do you. Good luck and feel better.
x

I don't think it is p. psychosis as OP seems to be well aware that the thoughts are not right.

But Bettybets it is a symptom of possible PND so I do recommend you see a doc because it is really not needed to fight this on your own.

Are they thoughts of you harming her, or are they thoughts of her coming to harm IYSWIM?

I had terrible intrusive thoughts about my DD being harmed, e.g. drowning in the bath, being attacked etc. I never mentioned these thoughts, but I did go and seek help for PND.

You should definitely seek help. The fact you are so concerned shows them that you are not a threat to your DD but want to get better.

Its horrible, i feel so ashamed! I love my baby so much. I'd never hurt her. Dont want social services knocking on my door.This is horrible :-( x

Its thoughts that i will hurt her. For example, i dont like having a hot cup of tea next to her incase i do something, i'm so ashamed :-(

I have these wierd thoughts too, but mine are about hurting my DD by accident. Like when im walking across the landing i suddenly picture her falling out of my arms and over the bannister, its bloody horrible Same when im walking downstairs, i picture myself tripping and dropping her The hot drink thing too. Do you feel a kind of urge to do something, or do you worry about something happening by accident like me?

I would probably go and talk to the doctor about PND, they will know what to suggest. Don't feel ashamed, Im sure you are not the only one to feel this way!

Your GP is not going to ring social services just like that if your baby is loved and well cared for. Take your DH with you to the appointment that will help in many ways - it will help you to be honest too...

You aren't going mad,you are no doubt suffering from anxiety and/or depression and these thoughts you are having are called intrusive thoughts (unwanted anxious thoughts/images)-it won't make you feel better but its a fairly common symptom of anxiety.
Let the feelings/images in your mind pass and tell yourself you are safe and relaxed-those thoughts will pass.

Please tell your gp that how you are feeling so you can get support and be asessed for depression-they won't judge you but will want to make you feel Like 'you' again so you can enjoy your baby and not have these worries.