Apologies for cross-posting with relationships topic, not sure where best to post. Any help gratefully recieved. We are living fairly stressful existence at the moment - three children under five, both self-employed, elderly parents who aren't well etc. Also financial pressures.
DH is so ratty and irritable and down all the time. His world view is very dark. I don't think he is seriously depressed but I think he is mildly do. He is very ratty with me and kids. He is difficult to live with as he won't admit he is stressed or down or ratty.
He will reprimand me for getting slightly impatient with one of the DC after asking them to do something 3 times but doesn't seem to understand the parallel of him getting ratty with them much more quickly.
I try hard to keep my temper but he is so irritable that we end up arguing and whereas I will admit my part of the argument and apologise he won't and it infuriates me.
It makes life seem fairly bleak and depressing as I will come downstairs in the morning in a good mood and he will ask me not to do something or remind me to do something - rather than chatting to me or asking me anything.
There are flashes of the old him but he just seems to spend his time talking about the things he wishes he had done or had done differently or how bleak the world is and how he fears for our daughters as the modern world is so dangerous.
There is no way he would ever see a counsellor. His background is very stiff upper lip - you don't admit feelings or emotions and you don't express weakness - which makes it hard to deal with!
Any advice? Sorry this is a ramble - he just seems to have got to the stage where he is just miserably accepting life - wishing he had more money, more time, more this or more that and not enjoying anything.
We moved to a new area a few years ago and I am building up a good network of female friends but he works alone and seems too tired to go out in the evenings. When he does go out with male friends he is much happier. It's also hard to persuade him to take a break - I will without guilt insist on an hour of from work, kids, housework at the weekend - go for a long walk and feel much better. He insists he doesn't have time but when he does go for a walk he is a changed man.
When I try and raise his moodswings he just throws it back on me as I had an undetected underactive thryoid last year which was making me very depressed and irritable and he found me hard to cope with. However, I did go to the doctor and admitted that I wasn;t much fun to live with and got it sorted out. I feel I'm at stalemate - if anyone is still reading I'd really apprecaite any thoughts or advice - I have no family nearby and even though am making friends we still live in quite a "bubble" of our own so his moods do affect my mood too.
How do you deal with someone who will never admit they are wrong or that they need to sort themselves out?