don't want to be around my DD2

[babymutha]

i am finding it increasingly difficult to cope with my DD. She's 2. I was in a state this morning and DH took her out swimming. I've been in bed all day. I was dreading them coming home. When they did, I burst into tears. What's wrong with me?

Can you explain what you find so difficult? is her behaviour challenging you? Two year olds are little psychologists and know how to push buttons...or do you feel it is something in you?

Its a bit of both. She is a very demanding typical 2 year old, she doesn't sleep well and she usually wakes up crying and screaming. This week she screamed for an hour and a half on friday afternoon after her nap. I don't know why. Last night she woke up at midnight and screamed for 45 minutes. I don't know why. I feel exhausted - stop the world I want to get off. When she's happy she's lovely - curious, inquisitive, funny, cheeky - but most days she has a screaming episode. Usually I just cope with it, but I feel so tired and useless today - like someone flicked a hormone switch. I burst into tears at breakfast time, went back to bed and stayed there. The flat is a tip, I've got a 100 things to do, but I can't face any of them. I love her, but I miss my selfish old life and I couldn't stop crying today.

Babymutha - can't help feeling that you are maybe suffering from anxiety/depression. do you have any history of this problem. It sounds to me like you need to get some help for yourself - children pick up when the mother is tense as you probably know and this could be one of the reasons why your little girl is so unsettled. Can you not soothe her when she wakes and is so upset, or does this make you more anxious and the whole thing becomes a viscous circle.

I really think you should talk to a H.V or GP about the way you are feeling. Wanting to withdraw to bed sounds very much like a symptom of depression to me and you may need some help.

Hope things improve for you.

Babymutha, do you get on with your GP or HV? I really recommend that you go and talk with them, if you can. What you are describing sounds like you could do with a bit of help. Fore example, they might be able to refer you to an early years psychologist, which can be really really helpful. The psychologist can give good tips on dealing with your DD's episodes, and help both you and her to feel happier and more settled. It doesn't mean that you're a useless mother- quite the opposite- if you seek help.

Hope things get better for you. Many of us on this board have been there.

thanks all. I have had mild depression b4 - but in my old life, where it's kind of acceptable to have a duvet day or 2, because no little people need looking after. I don't get on with the HVs at all - they have a knack of making me feel useless and angry - DD was 'failure to thrive' and they dealt with it in the most unsympathetic and patronising way. I hardly ever see the same GP, and they often make me feel like I'm wasting their time when I go in with DD (infrequently) - 1 has a favourite technique of showing me horrendous skin complaints on the web when I'm concerned DDs eczema is not healing, so I can compare and contrast. But I will make an appointment today - have a few health issues since DD born, and a thyroid problem which could be contributing. Thank you all.

just wanted to post an optimistic update. Asked to see a female doctor and she was great; took a load of tests and today told me I have vit D deficiency. I am so happy. Just found this article www.vitamindcouncil.org/depression.shtml if anyone interested. Thank you all again. I didn't want to go to my GP but got really lucky with a new doctor at the clinic; your encouragement really helped. Thank you.

That is nice to hear babymutha. Hope it continues to go well!

Interesting article baby, have marked it and will read it in full later, hope you start to feel better now

another post - not so optimistic, as spent morning in front of DD and CBeebies sobbing uncontrollably for hours. The Vit D thing is only part of it I think. My grandmother is very ill, and I think on the way out - she's 96 and amazing but in constant pain and now deteriorating mentally - I want to go and care for her, but she lives 500 miles away and I don't know how to make that fit into caring for DD and my p/t work. DD is waking several times in the night (only slept through twice since she was born Dec 07) I have stopped BFing 2 weeks ago, and my PMT seems to be getting worse since my periods came back in December. I feel so exhausted. Saw Dr again today, who was v supportive and new HV is coming to visit on Monday. I've just got to get through this wading through the mire feeling..