is this PND/baby blues/general anxiety?

[Nikki87]

Hey, I'm hoping someone out there will be able to help me, I don't what I'm feeling.
My DS is just over 2 weeks old, but since he was days old I've been feeling so... hollow. At first I just thought it was baby blues, but it has been getting worse, I also feel like I'm not bonding properly with him because of my anxiety.
One example is, as soon as I've settle DS after a feed, I start to panic about the ext feed, will it go OK/how long will he take to re-settle/any other problem that may occur. So bad that I want people around me all the time in case something goes wrong. yet my parents have taken him out this afternoon, and the house is so empty without him, and I want him back, but I know as soon as he gets back, I'll start feeling sick and panicky again... I've got loads of support from both mine and DP's parents, and lots of friends, but it just seems like everyone else manages to get it all sorted straight away and I just can't get the hang of it.
I'm 22years old, and have been on AD's before for approx a year, about 1 1/2years ago, I don't know if this makes any difference or not though...

Please please someone help???

Is this your first baby?

My baby is 13 weeks old and I have been through similar feelings to what you describe. What I'd say is, this is totally normal. It's a massive thing having a baby and at 2 weeks you haven't even got over the birth yet. Around 6 weeks, your body should have recovered and you will feel more settled in yourself. From then on it should keep getting a bit easier. DON'T look at other people and think they have it sorted. Plenty of people struggle early on but a lot of people hide it. Give yourself time. I too felt I needed people around all the time and again this is normal, and how it should be with a first baby. Also remember you have loads of hormones flying around at the moment. Get the most of the support now; be honest about how you're feeling; then as you grow in confidence you can gradually spend longer periods on your own (even if just an hour at a time). Also, as your baby gets older they will seem less 'fragile' and it gets less scary.

rotool, yes 1st baby.
arcadia I don't think I can carry on like this till 2weeks though, not unless I do have someone with me constantly. also DP goes back to work tomorrow and I burst into tears each time I think about it.....

I meant till 6weeks

To be honest at the beginning I felt like EVERY day (even hour or minute!) was the last one that I would cope with, really and truly and felt that way. But somehow you have to and you will find that you will keep going. I was also terrified about DP going back to work. Speak to your midwife/health visitor/GP as well and they should reassure you that these are normal feelings that lots of people have. If you can have people around you all the time then arrange it that way for when your DP goes back to work. It is such early days still. Also bonding is not instant for everyone and will take time, try not to worry about that, there is plenty you can do about that later on. I am by no means an expert and still find it really tough myself, but all I can say is that those first few weeks are a massive struggle for everyone and if anyone says that it wasn't, they are not telling the truth!

I think what you are feeling is normal, but at the same time it's hard to judge just based on your OP.
I, for one, wasn't terribly anxious immediately after birth, but at 2 or 3 months had a horrible healt anxiety on behalf of dd.
While I think your experience so far falls within a normal range of feelings, if you feel you really cannot deal with them, then maybe you could seek support with HV or GP.
If everything re feedings tc is going ok for now, then you don't really have a reason to feel so anxious- you know, even if there are some feeds that he doesn't eat that much, it's also not the end of the world.
I bet your anxiety is also compounded by sleep deprivation. It is hell, that, but we all have to get through that.

sorry had to feed/bath and bed everyone!
arcadia and winnybella are so right, everything you are feeling is normal but it's what you do next thats important.
Do you have anyone near that you can talk to?
Mum, sister? you need to confide in someone who can hold your hand so to speak.
Have you talked to your midwife or health visitor?
Do you have a friend with a new baby too?
I had my second baby 13 years after my first,I thought it would be really easy and like riding a bike but I was so wrong and didn't cope well at all. Eventually it sorted itself out and I found that being out of the house as much as poss' really helped me as I guess I didn't have so much time to dwell on things.
Are you able to join a new mums club or mum and toddler group near you?
Above all keep telling yourself that you won't feel like this forever, it will pass.
Wish I lived near you, would love to help.

rotool I've moved in with my mum for a couple of days as DP has gone back to work, going to get myself into a routine here, knowing I've got support IF i need it, but to try and not use it, then when i go home i'll stick to it and hope it works.... the MW came today, and i spoke to her about it, did sod all, just said she'll see how i am in a week when she signs me off... fat lot of help she was. not my normal MW though. I am trying to stay out of the house as much as poss, and i do have a friend that gave birth days after me, but shes aleady got a 3year old, and seems to be doing brilliants with DD2 so don't really want to impose my problems onto her. And i am going to try and get into a mums n babys club, but what worries me about that, is what do i do for the rest of day/week. and how am i supposed to grab a few hours sleep in the afternoon if I'm keeping myself occupied with not getting anxious. I know a lot of my problem is overthinking all of this, but I've no idea how to change it!!!!! ARGHHHH =[

Go to your GP.I felt the same way but never did anything about it until DS was 8/9 months old.
I was so anxious it was a big problm by then.And I'd had a miserable few months.
A course of hypnotherapy did it for me in the end but do see your gp and see what they can do to help.
And plan something for every day. I used to find it a massive stress getting out of the house but always felt better for it afterwards.
Mum and baby groups are a great idea, everyone one will be feeling as overwhelmed as you.
The first few weeks are hard but it will get easier, honest!

Please do find someone more helpful to talk to. Can you contact your normal midwife? Have you seen a Health Visitor yet? (Mine was lovely.)

I had anxiety and mild PND with DC1. Support from friends/family/old family friends really helped me and I was treated with Sepia which is a natural remedy. I had ups and downs but nothing as bad as the panic/anxiety in the first few weeks. As yes I echo the fact that the first 6 weeks are the hardest. No one can prepare you for how hard it is with your first DC. It does get so much easier (otherwise I wouldnt have had DC2 20 months later!)

Finding sympathetic people to talk to and spend time with will be very helpful. I imagine your Mum is supportive if you have moved in with her so that is great.

hi,

I know the sun helps but i've been using any excuse to force myself and 6 week old dd out of the house for a walk to the shops/ children's centre etc. The thought of it nearly made me freak at first but she doesn't need all the palaver that I thought she did (coat/hat/blanket/hot water bottle/cat/ kitchen sink) and now we are getting used to it I feel so much less stressed - and its a way of hopefully getting back into my old jeans (in say, a year! :).

That's my helpful hint no.66.

Hope you feel better soon!