Referal to perinatal psychiatry (pregnancy) They can go to hell

[mummyof2byapril]

So I was on here a month or so ago worrying about a consultant who said I needed to be referred as I was at risk of having a breakdown when baby is born and may have to go to mother and baby unit to assess me at birth.
Went to my doctor who said she would write to consultant and sya I don't need reffering as I've had no depression since being a teenager 6 years ago, not to mention that I've been perfectly fine on my own from day one with my 3 y old. Doctor also let it slip that they could not make me do any assesments I didn't want to do anyway, unless I was sectionable.

Well, I just got a letter from my doctor saying she's afraid the consultant already reffered me, she tried to asure me that there's not likely to be much involvement.
But obviously I don't want ANY involvement, as social services adopted my first child against my will because of these ridiculous 'mental health problems' they said I had.
I know if they start labelling me as having 'mental illness' (and being alone and 'vulnerable') social services could easily get involved again.

So what to do now?
Tell the mental health team to go to hell if they try calling me?
I'm not playing their games this time, they are dangerous with their pens and diagnosesis dictating the future of my kids.

Can I just say 'no sorry I don't want any involvement with you'?
I'm having a homebirth now so they cannot keep me or my baby hostage in hospital on any mother and baby unit, or waiting around for any psychiatric analysis.

Somebody make them go away pleeease

Oh you poor thing, how terrible that SS had your first child adopted against your will. I quite understand how terrified you must be that the same thing will happen again.

I don't know anything about this sort of situation, but didn't want to leave this unanswered.

It might be an idea to contact John Hemming, the Lib Dem MP who campaigns against injustice in this area. Am sure he could put you in touch with people who could support you.

What you went through was an awful, terrible experience.

However, you may find that if you cooperate with them you will have a much better outcome than if you try to run away.

OMG why on earth do they feel the it is right to take a child from there mother.

Was it just deppression that you sufferd from?

Its worrying as i suffered mild deppression (fine now) but we are going to ttc out dc3 soon .. is this what happens?

katy - no it's not what happens

it's very worrying, i can see why some woman dont seek help with PND due to the fear of this.

TBH you arouse more suspicion if you don't seek help i.e. it looks like you are hiding something.

If you care for your DC - they are fed, clothed etc. you have nothing to fear.

By not seeking help when you need it you are actually being very selfish because not only you but your whole family suffer.

depression - regardless of what some people even on here will try to tell you is NOT reason to have your child taken away. FGS do people really think SS have nothing better to do or that their GP rings social services at the same time as writing a prescription? I started a thread about this which is now leading a life of its own and rather than clearing things up is perpetuating myths now due to the bad experiences of a few.

1 in 3 people have some sort of MH problem in their lifetime. you do the maths on how many millions of babies in care that would be.

mummyof2byapril I'm sorry you ar having such a tough time and obviously you have alot of distrust of psychiatric and social services because of your previous experiences.

Maybe like Getdownyouwillfall says though the best way forward is to work with the Dr's and SS to prove that you are well and able to cope before and after the birth of your child.

I hope everything works out for you.

well said willsurvivethis

These kinds of scaremongering threads really annoy me.

very reasuring, thank you.

I dont know any information on any of this .. never had deppression (well diagnosed) till 6 months ago. so reading the above thread that the lady said she hadn;t suffered from deppression since when she was 17 and is fine now, but they still adopted her child out, kinda worried me.

thank you for reassuring me

x

I'd tend to agree - you may be putting your family more at risk by not cooperating and beign resistant won't make them go away, rather the opposite. A HB may be no greater protection as the hv/ss could expect you to actively demonstrate that you are coping more in those early days. If you have successfully kept your 3yr old (who I assume was not your first child) why should there be any more reason for you to feel the new baby is at risk ? Do you have partner/family to support you ?

I had depression pretty badly during pg with DD. Saw a psychaitrist at 12 weeks and was immediately put on ADs which stopped me wanting to kill myself. I had suffered on and off from depression since I was 17 and had been on ADs for w few months before I got pg with DD (then stupidly stopped taking them).

I'm afraid I really can't believe that the OP's child was taken away becuase of mental health problems someone said she had. I had fully documented mental health problems and there was never any suggestion at all of DD being taken away from me.

I think a better way to look at it is not that you have anything to PROVE but that if all goes well there will be no worries and all the interest in you will tail off quickly enough.

If you 'hate these scaremongering threads' then don't read them.

I'm not in this thread to talk about how messed up social services are.
Me and other women who've had babies taken know what can really happen, don't care if yall believe me on that right now.
I just want to avoid them like the plague.

For anyone concerned about SS and depression, you shouldn't have to worry if you have support, like a mother or a husband or anyone trustworthy that says they're helping, it's when you're alone and vulnerable and NEED help you're at risk.
It's also very hard for them to take a child into care initially without good reason, I made the mistake of believing that they would let me have a few days break if I put him into voluntry care. Basically invited the devil into my house, that info got passed over as me having 'abandoned' him.
And was very hard to get him back, even with child gaurdian's support they had all sorts of excuses, my mental health was the final 'reason' the judge used, obviously that can't stand true as DS2 has been fine with me since his day of birth and they haven't got anything on me good enough to take him away, however if I was an idiot enough to 'let them look after him for a few days' again, it could all happen again.
I'm not so clueless this time though obviously.

ANYWAY
On the subject of what I made this thread for;
I don't need any psychiatric help.
My healthvisitor and doctor are brilliant and it's obvious they think I'm doing well and they agree I shouldn't be judged on depression I had so long ago.
So if I refuse to speak to any psychiatric people, I think with doctor's and health visitor's supporting letters they can't do anything :-)
(after all THEY didn't refer me, it was some idiot consultant I met once in my life who was 'concerned'.)
I've definately learnt that I need to keep people in powerful positions on side.
HEalth visitor was here the otherday with child support worker and my son was really good giving me hugs and reading to me and we all got on well, and doctor like I've said before thinks the adjustment disorder I had before was a normal response to being seperated from child.
I know they're all watching me, but my support team have no concerns.
I could tell perinatal psychiatry people that I just don't want to waste their time if they call.

goodness, it's not scaremongering - it happened to my sister and as a lone parent who has had to go into hospital a few times it has been a very real risk for me too

my advice is to co-operate as fully as possible, obviously do everything possible to maintain your own stability - the best way to get the psychiatric services off your back is through co-operating with them because the more you protest you don't need their help, the more determined they seem to become

let them see that you are well and coping beautifully, show up for any appointments - it seems bizarre when there are people out there desperate for help who struggle to be seen because of the demands on the services, good luck anyway

I'm really sorry mummyof2byapril I didn't mean it to sound quite like how it came out. If you see my first post I acknowledge what a terrible time you must have been through.

Just wanted to add from my experience that;s all. I have been hospitalised due to psychiatric problems myself and can honestly say that the health professionals involved were not out to "steal my DD".

Indeed, of all the women in hospital with me, none of them had their babies taken into care... they were all there with them in the unit.

I really hope things work out well for you. Sorry again if I upset you.

Oh it's okay :-)

I would be terrified if I was in hospital due to psychiatric problems.
I would certainly think they would be wanting to take my baby away!
I'm more confident they'd help me keep the older one as he's very much settled in his own mind with me being his mum.

I guess how we think of SS depends on our own experiences and ones we've seen first hand.

Yes you're right. I can understand your fears, given what you've been through.

getdown so sorry to hear you had a bad time, but also glad you came out the other side.

thanks katy

Do you mind if i ask was it mostly down to PND?

yes I had severe insomnia (cause or effect of PND I don't know)
Then deteriorated and was admitted to a mother and baby unit.

well congratulations for getting through that. very strong lady in my books

x

thanks, I didn't feel very strong at the time. But I suppose looking back, it has made me stronger. x