Does anybody else feel like this?

[mellymole]

Has anybody else felt like this: I was sat on the loo this morning and when ds came into the room, my heart sank and I got that a anxious feeling. (My heart is sinking when I think about it now because I love him so much.)

Why did I feel like that? My first thought was ?what if I don?t love him.? I realise I do, but I?m also really frightened that I don?t because I can?t always feel that crazy feeling of love washing over me.

I also realise this is ridiculous because I surely do not believe that every parent walks around every day feeling this amazing loving feeling, that is just not realistic. It comes in surges. I get frightened and then when I am anxious, I can?t feel anything else, however much I want to, the anxious feeling is so strong it overrides everything else.

He is the most amazing, happy little boy, my dh says the proof is in the pudding and i'm being daft. I barely have any time to myself (work full time, hubby works weekends so no time together, not moaning, it is a fact of life). Are these feelings normal?

Help!

Sound very normal and part of being a caring, wonderful devoted mother to me.

Sometimes, if I am in the middle of something, and DS runs to me, I get a bit cross or dissapointed I couldn't finish what I was doing, its only a few mins alone for goodness sake, I'm not asking for much etc. I have to tell myself I am being unfair and chill out.

It sounds like you are just a little bit smothered with the 'fact of life'. As long as the feelings are quite infrequent and not long lasting, I think it is very normal and manageable.

If feelings are too much to bear, often, affect your normal functioning, then it is a bit of a worry and I'd go to GP for help.

Try lots of fresh fruit and veg, cut down coffee, get as much natural light as possible, oily fish a couple of times per week, whole grains and milk. Also, exercising is a great mood booster. Try to do 'fun' things that are easy to do - like singing, dancing to music etc. always helps to boost my mood making me feel like wonder mum again.

I think it is right to accept the situation you are in, but it is also right to feel a bit down by it now and again. And have a little wallow. But just a little one, then come out the other side.

Hey mellymole,

Sorry to hear you are feeling like that, what age is your DS??

I suffer from anxiety too, however, anxiety affects everyone differently and for different reasons and depending on the reasons it will make you feel different about different things - does that make any sence at all . It sounds like you are under a lot of pressure and that not having any time to yourself can be a killer!!! I love my kids dearly, but when they go to bed I don;t want to hear a peep from them until the morning. I just want the evening to myself and if eldest DS shouts on me form his bed I actually get angry . Its not because I am mad at him, just mad that I want sometime to myself and i'm not getting it!! Mums need time off - Fact! Do you get time to yourself in the evenings at all??

Speak to your HV or GP about the anxiety thing as its something that you can get under control!

Sorry if I'm not being much help, but didn;t want your post to go unanswered!

x x x

plenty of protein as well.

Thanks everybody. I know I'm feeling like this because I'm very stressed at work and have 2 hours travelling per day as well. Truth be known, I would love to work part time, but I have a lot of debt from a business collapse some years ago which will take years to pay off. Thanks for your kind words and thoughts. I beat myself senseless trying to be a good mum and I feel sooooo bad if I ever feel annoyed with him or begrudge him some time. I need to work on time for me though too, I know. I only see my husband evenings, so always anxious to make time for him too... guess I forgot about myself in the process. Thanks again.